There is so much in our world that is novel, strange, and stimulating.
Yet, our day-to-day lives often resemble more of a mundane routine than an epic adventure. We get stuck checking off our task lists of obligations, instead of creating moments of awe, wonder, and excitement.
Expressing curiosity for the world around you is one of the best ways to enhance your overall well-being. When neuroscientists and psychologists have studied curiosity, they’ve noticed a myriad of positive benefits from enhancing memory and learning, to expanding our levels of empathy and living happier lives, to having higher levels of achievement.
This month we’re going to show you how to shift your focus as we share three simple strategies to spark your curiosity!
Peak Your Own Interest
Have you ever considered how curiosity actually works? Typically, we wait for something to grab our attention, peaking our interest and elevating our level of curiosity. This process relies on external stimuli for curiosity to exist, which makes you a passive participant, simply reacting to your environment.
What if you decided to play a more active role instead?
The best part of this shift in focus is that you can literally get curious about ANYTHING! Look around you and notice what you take for granted and start asking, pondering, contemplating…
Instead of sitting frustrated in morning traffic, try asking: How does a sunrise work?
Instead of getting impatient in line to grab your take away lunch, consider: How many people did it take – from farmers to groceries to cashiers – to make this sandwich I’m about to enjoy possible?
Instead of lamenting at the never-ending pile of laundry, why not wonder: Who had the skills and time to create all these beautiful clothes I wear?
When you decide to activate your curiosity by choosing what to get interested about, you not only have more control, and also begin to create more moments of reflection and wonder in your life.
Seek Out Wonder
If you have the opportunity to spend time with young children, you’ll quickly realize that they activate their own curiosity intrinsically without second-guessing if their questions make sense or are silly. They simply want to know!
When a baby or toddler experiences something for the first time, you’ll witness curiosity in its purest form. Sheer wonder and amazement that sparks further exploration! Yet as we grow older, we become aware of social pressures and stop asking and exploring.
We learn that it’s not cool to ask the “silly questions” so we stop altogether. Wonder starts to become less familiar.
Throughout our lives, we absorb information and develop schemas for how things work to help us make sense of the world and our role in it. Our brains create cognitive shortcuts that manifest into thoughts and assumptions on how things should be to help us make faster decisions.
Because we get so busy balancing a dynamic life full of personal commitments, work projects, and everything in-between, we rely on these assumptions and forget what it is like to be struck with awe and wonder like we once were as a small child.
We settle for what makes sense, rather than trying to discover new ways of thinking, dreaming, and being.
The mindfulness practice of putting on a “beginner’s mind” helps adults reclaim this sense of seeing with new eyes and experiencing life without any preconceived notions. Start today by choosing one area of your life to look at with a perspective of wonder and amazement and see what you discover.
Shift Your Focus
We all have those not-so-great times that trigger us and put us on the defense. These experiences often happen around and with the people we love and value most. Instead of getting angry and defensive, try shifting your focus from reacting critically to responding with curiosity. Here’s what this might look like…
Your partner comes home in a bad mood and you immediately notice the negative energy shift in the room. While nothing has even been said yet, you already feel your chest tighten as your heart begins to beat faster, putting you more on edge. How do you respond?
“Why are you so mad?” you ask defensively.
Now notice how this question shifts if you check in with a curious tone instead of a critical one.
You automatically take your curiosity a level deeper by shifting how you ask by first stating what you observe and then opening up the conversation with an invitation: “You seem pretty upset. What happened today?”
Changing your question from why (critical) to what (curious), makes all the difference in how it is received.
These simple shifts in tone and wording acknowledge emotion and offer questions with curiosity, allowing tense moments to become interactive dialogues, rather than hot debates.
And it all starts with shifting your focus as you choose how to engage.
Anyone can become more curious. It just takes the right intention and focus to choose to look at life through a lens of interest, rather than limitation.
Leslie M. Bosserman
As we begin a new month, I encourage you to play with these three strategies and encounter fresh ways to get curious in your life. Pick one to try out in the next week and notice the impact it has on your levels of happiness and fulfillment.
Imagine what would be possible if you approached your next work meeting, family dinner, or social engagement with more curiosity. What would be possible then? How would it shift the mood of the space and create more openness and opportunity?
Play with your curiosity and have fun discovering what is possible again!
