When we experience something that makes us feel bad, our lizard brain (the most primitive part) will make a mental note for us to avoid stuff like this in the future. Because it wants to keep us safe. It wants to protect us from the hurt we feel when we don’t get asked out on that second date or the slap in the face when the guy you’ve been seeing just mysteriously goes off radar and you never hear from him again. Nice.

But is this fear of rejection holding you back? Do you sulk for ages before getting back out there? Or vow never to text back first next time? Or tell yourself to never ever be the one to ask him out on a second date next time – “wait for him to come to you”?

We can wrap ourselves up nice and cosy in cotton wool but there’s no getting around the fact that rejection is inevitable. It’s happened to us before and it will happen to us again. No matter how hard we try and avoid it, we can’t control it. Grrrreeeeat I hear you say…

But wait… what we can control is our relationship with it. Because it’s not the rejection itself that’s the problem, it’s how we choose to perceive it.

It all starts with our mindset…

Our mindset affects our behaviour and our behaviour determines our outcomes.

So by thinking differently about rejection, we can actually change the course of our lives.

That’s why we’ve pulled together our top 10 alternative ways of looking at rejection.

So the next time you get rejected. And it’s not IF it happens it’s WHEN it happens, try one of these on for size and see how it makes you feel…

1. Rejection is redirection
2. Rejection is feedback
3. Every rejection is a stepping stone towards my ideal outcome
4. Rejection is setting me free
5. Rejection is my hearts way of saying no
6. Rejection is my future self thanking me for creating the space for my future to show up
7. Rejection is a part of life
8. Rejection is an invitation to something better
9. Rejection is honesty
10. Rejection is necessary

Tweet your favourite from this list and – as a bonus exercise – ask someone you love if they’ve ever been thankful of the rejections they’ve had? We’d love to hear your stories – share them with us on Facebook / Twitter

Vicki – Love Coach and co creator of Get Ready for Love

Originally published at loveprojectlove.com