My life drastically changed after I became a mom. Some great changes, some not so great changes. Having twins took up so much time and energy, that I unconsciously put my own wants and needs on the back burner. And that eventually led to me having a breakdown.

Putting yourself on hold is okay, temporarily, but the problem was that I never took myself off of the back burner.

Becoming a martyr for my kids, in a sense, eventually caused me to have the breakdown. Like a legit, in bed, not-getting-dressed-for-days, breakdown.

And, being that hindsight is 20/20, I now see exactly what led to me hitting rock bottom.

10 Habits That Led to Me Having a Breakdown

  1. I stopped taking time for myself
  2. I said yes to everything, trying to constantly please others
  3. I put everyone else first, and myself dead last
  4. I let my inner critic become the loudest voice in my head
  5. I stopped doing all of the activities that I used to do for fun
  6. I stopped wearing clothes that made me feel good about myself, and was strictly “practical”
  7. I spent way more money on my kids than on myself
  8. I hardly ever went on dates with my husband
  9. I fed my kids healthy foods, and didn’t focus on my own health
  10. I let worry, fear, guilt, and shame take complete control of my life

GUYS, do you hear what I am telling you?! Please, please, please invest in yourself. Time, money, energy. All of that. Like, right now.

These habits don’t really even seem that bad on their own. But, the combination of all of these habits compounded with time, is what ultimately led to the breakdown.

Are you at risk?

If it wasn’t for one person who urged me to get into counseling, I would still be settling for less.

We all need someone to validate our feelings. To assure us that we ARE doing a good job. To be louder than our inner critic. To hold us accountable when we take the easy road instead of the necessary road.

And, the good news is that my breakdown actually became a break-through.

To be honest, it wasn’t an easy journey. However, it got me here. And, here is so much better than there.

I want you to think about one thing that you can do today that can help you to reconnect with your identity outside of being a mom, without the guilt. Because you are a great mom. You deserve to feel good about that. And, most of all, I don’t want you to end up where I did.

Originally published at on November 19, 2016.

Originally published at