I was afraid of trying to start my website and write my first book. I didn’t want to put the time and effort into writing a book and designing a website just to be rejected. I would start and stop. I made every excuse in the book to why I could not do it.

I would say damaging things like, “No one will read my material, who is going to support my efforts or people will just laugh at my work.” I allowed these excuses to sabotage my success.

It was more important to me to avoid rejection than it was to make my dream of writing a book and starting a blog a reality. I read hundreds of inspirational books and blogs, I listened to podcast after podcast that encouraged me to pursue my dreams, but I continued to focus on sabotaging thoughts.

It was not until I finally took a leap of faith and wrote my book and launched my website. This leap of faith released a weight from my life.

I broke free of self-sabotage by letting go of my fears in order to allow success to happen. I still battle moments of intense fear, but I have learned to take baby steps to overcome my fears. I have a lot of work to do, but I am far from where I use to be.

To begin the process of transformation from self-sabotage, you must stop doing certain things. It may be difficult to let go of some of the things, but in order to live out your vision you must work make it happen.

If you are ready to break free of self-sabotage, here are ten things you must stop doing.

  1. Stop spending time with discouraging people. – Life is too short to spend quality time with people
    who live in a perpetual state of discouragement. Every time you see them,
    they are speaking doom and gloom. They complain about the economy. They
    gripe about their job. They whine about their finances. A conversation
    with this person will leave you discouraged and disgusted with life.

Your relationships should help you, not hinder you. Choose people you admire, who love and respect you, who challenge you to grow and who helps you become the person you were designed to be.

  1. Stop running from your problems. – No matter how far you run or where you go, your
    problems will not vanish. They will wait for you. I found the best thing
    to do is to face them head on. It won’t be easy. You may have to
    confront someone who is causing you issues.

You may have to confront your negative inner voice who is constantly telling you that you cannot live your vision. Running from your problems does not solve them, it only makes things worse. If you don’t handle your problems quickly, they only grow bigger and cause more problems.

  1. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being
    yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. You
    were designed to be you and if you attempt to imitate someone else, you
    cancel out your true self.

Do not become discouraged because someone is doing something great. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, younger and faster than you. Don’t change who you are to imitate someone else. Be yourself and let the world love the real you.

  1. Stop holding onto the past. – The past is gone and will never come back. You can’t
    start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. Your past
    is like a scrambled egg, once it’s scrambled, you cannot make whole again.

You cannot redo your past. No matter how much you want to go back and change what happened, you cannot. If you allow your past to blur the progress of your vision, you may turn around to find your future has run out on you.

  1. Stop being afraid of failure. – Don’t let past failures hold you hostage. Don’t let thoughts of failure
    keep you from trying. One of the major problems that keep people from
    living their vision is the fear of failure. Every person experiences
    failure at some time.

Realize that failure is not final and is a part of the success process. The key is to learn from your failures, get back up, dust yourself off and keep trying. You are not finished when you fail, only when you quit.

  1. Stop beating yourself up. – We all make mistakes, encounter struggles and allow regrets
    from our past hinder our present. But you are not your mistakes, you can
    overcome struggles and you don’t have to beat yourself up about what
    happened yesterday.

Every day you should do something that makes you better than you were yesterday. Don’t waste anymore precious time beating yourself up about things you cannot change.

  1. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it
    rewards people who get things done. If you believe that
    everything must be perfect before you live your vision, think again. You
    will hinder your progress if you believe the perfect lie.

Don’t squander precious time trying to dot all the “I’s and cross all the “T”s, before you launch your vision. If you do, you may run out of time. It is okay not to be perfect, because “being perfect” is not real. It’s just wishful thinking

  1. Stop living in your comfort zone. – Life will throw you curveballs. You may not see or
    understand everything the moment it happens, but your life’s curveballs
    are there for a reason. They are trying to shift you from your comfort
    zone. The
    desire to remain in your comfort zone is natural and because of that
    instinctive need, we jump on the someday
    bandwagon and push our goals and dreams to the side until another day.

Unfortunately nothing ever happens. Tomorrow becomes next week, which soon leads to next year. Then next year leads to five years, then ten years. Until eventually, the life you desired to live becomes a distant memory. You can’t afford to fall into the trap of “someday” because it may never come.

  1. Stop holding onto unforgiveness – Don’t live your life with unforgiveness in your
    heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you don’t
    forgive. Don’t
    live your life frustrated and angry about what others did or did not do.

Life is too short to live with unforgiveness. I know it can be difficult to forgive someone that done you wrong, but the consequences of not forgiving weighs your life down. Don’t waste another second, seek forgiveness and move forward.

  1. Stop rejecting change. – Change is often difficult. It can disrupt your
    life. It can interfere with your routine. The hardest part about change is
    letting go of what you were used to doing and moving on with something different.

No matter how much you want things to stay the same, they will not. Change is inevitable. Stop worrying and believe that things will work out. Embrace the change, live expectantly and enjoy your life as you move forward.

Question: What fears have sabotage you from living out
your vision? What can you do to overcome your fears and live out your vision?

Call To Action

If you want to achieve all your goals for 2018 and beyond faster than you ever
thought possible then my FREE resource ‘Goals Matter!’ will help guide you in your journey.

Click here to get this FREE resource now!


  • Bernard K. Haynes

    Author, Speaker and Coach

    Lead to Impact, LLC

    I am the CEO of Lead to Impact (www.leadtoimpact.com) and I help people lead the way they were meant to lead. I specialize in training, coaching and consulting individuals and organizations in personal growth and leadership development.