I’ve been in the divorce industry for a long time. 15 years. First (and currently) as the managing attorney of Levine Family Law Group, and now as the CEO and Founder of legal technology and services company, Hello Divorce. Over the years, I have overheard clients and their spouse’s talk about everything from parenting schedules and equalization payments to reimbursements for funds spent on hookers and drugs. Every so often, I hear a quote that is just too good not to share. I compiled them here because when read together – they are everything that divorce is (or can be). One thing is for sure – they are 100% relatable.

The Chopra Client

me: “How did you make it through such a traumatic divorce without showing the slightest bit of hostility?”

her: “My kids are one-half my ex. I will never risk them fearing half of them is wrong. If I hate their father, they experience me hating a part of them.”

The Practical Client

“Sorry I’m late. I was obsessing over all the things I want to say to you but won’t because I don’t want to spend $100,000 on legal fees.”

The Mediation Client

“It turns out, the communication issues we had in marriage, are present in our divorce”

Divorcing a Narcissist

“That period of time when change and hope is just around the corner and you are ready for it – but there’s literally nothing you can do to move things along.”

“The moment my mood stopped shifting based on her actions, I won.”

“You can tell a lot about a person by how they divorce.

The Hopeful Client

me: “How is that you have survived through so much pain?”

her: “I am addicted to silver linings.”

The Clueless Client

her: “You’ll never meet another woman like me.”

him: : “First of all, thank god.”

The Bitter Divorcee

him: “Looks like you changed the netflix password after we agreed I’d have access until the divorce is final. What is it?”

her: “Ihopeyoudie.”

The Reflective Client

“It’s amazing how broken I am. Even when I saw it coming.”

The Empowered Client

“Yes I forgave him. No, I don’t want to build a relationship with him.”

“I am finally the independent woman, Destiny’s Child wanted me to be.”

“I am power couple with myself. I love us. We work hard.”

*We want you to get through your divorce without the expense, conflict and drama ordinarily associated with the process. Learn more at www.hellodivorce.com and/or schedule a free 15 minute strategy session if you live in California.