1. You’re sitting up and staring at the computer, in a trance-like state with your mouth typically gaping open, until an awkward head jolt later when you realize you just fell asleep sitting up, again.
  2. When unpacking from your weekly grocery shop, you realize that you keep re-buying the same five items that you were in desperate need of… two weeks ago.
  3. Even though you walk into a room and sometimes forget your purpose, you then grab an item, get distracted, and then completely forget where you placed it.
  4. You sound more like an auctioneer than a parent as you stumble over every family member’s and pet’s name in the house before actually matching it with the kid in front of you.
  5. Your alarm clock is set to repeat every 5-minutes for a 30-minute period before it’s actually time to get out of bed — yet you still manage to snooze through every single one and wake up in a panic with your iPhone laying next to you after turning it off for a foolish “5 more minutes.”
  6. You robotically spew out random, repetitive phrases at the kids that have nothing to do with the moment.
  7. After frantically running through the house looking for your “lost” phone, and likely blaming one of the kids for taking it, you look down and realize it was in your hand — the entire time.
  8. You repeatedly demand that your kid let her sibling out to pee on the lawn — only to realize that you really meant the dog.
  9. When you finally lay down to rest and read your emails, the iPhone falls out of your hand and smacks you in the face.
  10. You frequently bump into door frames and furniture — and then apologize to them.

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Originally published at medium.com