Life is constantly about change, it is forever moving. As I get older it seems time is passing by at fast break speed. The days, weeks, months and years appear to pass by at a record pace. But, when I really think about it, time is moving at the same pace it has always moved.

Each of us has the same twenty-four hours a day and one-hundred, sixty-eight hours a week. The key question you should ask yourself is ‘what am I doing with my time’. If you are not using your time to progress towards your life’s vision then you are stuck.

If you feel stuck where you are, you must choose to move. You can’t afford to forfeit any more time stuck where you are. Time is too valuable and precious. If you desire to come out of a stuck situation and maximize your life, here are five poisons you must avoid.

Life is a continuous learning experience. Every day you should learn something new because if you don’t you will become stagnate.

The following list unveils 12 important life lessons I learned to get unstuck and life forward.

12 Important Life Lessons

1.Learn to forgive

Don’t live your life frustrated and angry about what others did or did not do. Forgive. Life is too short to live with un-forgiveness. I know it can be difficult to forgive someone that done you wrong, but the consequences of not forgiving weighs your life down.

You miss living at your best. You forfeit peace of mind. Free yourself by taking the initiative to forgive. Because you forgive, does not mean you have to trust or have a relationship with that person. Don’t waste another second, seek forgiveness and move forward.

2.  Make your time count.

You only have one life to live and you might as well live it at maximum capacity. Life goes by faster than we think. When you are in your teens and twenties you don’t think much about time. But, before you know it you are in your thirties and forties and wondering where the time has gone. Whatever stage you are in life you must make your time count. 

Don’t dwell on opportunities that you missed when you were younger because that time is gone and will never come back. Right now make up in your mind to live the best life you can with the time you have left. Live your life to its full extent because life is too short and we never know what tomorrow may bring.

3. Embrace change

Change is often difficult. It can disrupt your life. It can interfere with your routine. The hardest part about change is letting go of what you were used to and moving on with something different.

No matter how much you want things to stay the same, they will not. Change is inevitable. Stop worrying, fretting and doubting, and believe that things will work out. Embrace the change, live expectantly and enjoy your life as you move forward.

            4. Take your health seriously.

As I have gotten older, I now realize the importance of taking care of my health. When you are younger you think you are invincible. You eat what you want, you push your body and you don’t get quality rest. All of these things will take a toll on your body and if you don’t stop your health will deteriorate.

If your health is bad then you can’t live your best your life. Start developing healthy habits like eating better, exercising, drinking water and getting quality rest. Also, get regular yearly checkups from your doctor in order to prevent future problems.

            5. Don’t make excuses.

Many people cannot move forward in life because they bind themselves to a litany of excuses. They say things like, “I don’t have enough time,” “I am not smart or good enough,” “I don’t have the appropriate education or experience,” or “I don’t have enough money.”

You don’t know what you can accomplish until you do it. It doesn’t matter if it hasn’t been done before. Do it anyway. If no one will go with you, go alone. If you don’t get encouragement from family or friends, encourage yourself. When you decide to stop making excuses and move forward, you will begin to achieve things in your life you never imagined possible.

            6. Take consistent action.

To get where you desire to be is going to take consistent effort. You must roll up your sleeves, put on your workbooks, strap on your hardhat and go to work every day. Taking consistent action means you show up every day no matter how you feel, what things look like or who is in your corner.

Talking about your vision won’t bring it to pass. Dreaming about your future won’t open doors to success. Reading books about others success won’t magically transfer to you. If you want to make things happen in your life change your mindset, create a plan of action and consistently take action.

            7. Avoid negative conversations.

Do not allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life. If you do, you will find yourself living in the negative. When you engage with the negative words of others you hinder your progress. It does not take long for negative conversations from discouraged people to deplete your energy and enthusiasm.

You do not have control over what others say; but you do have control over whether or not you allow them to speak in your life. You have the power to walk away and reject their poisonous words from infiltrating your heart and mind.

            8. Don’t try to get people to like you.

One of the best ways to free yourself from the unnecessary pressure of trying to get everyone to like you is to realize everyone is not going to like you. It is not the end of the world if everyone does not like you. It is not your responsibility to make people like you. It is your responsibility to treat people like you want to be treated.

If you are overdoing your personality to get people to like you, please stop. Just be your unique self. If people can’t like you for who you are then you don’t need them in your life. I have learned no matter how you live or what you do someone will always disagree. So my advice to you is to live your best life and let the rest take care of itself.

            9. Stop focusing on the past.

Don’t shed another tear over your past, it’s gone and will never come back. Your past is like scrambled eggs and you can’t unscramble eggs. Whatever happened in your past deal with it so you can move on. Don’t stress yourself out another minute over something you can’t change. You must do your best to live in the NOW and make this moment your best moment.

Don’t let anyone hold your past over you. You tell them you are not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You let them and the world know that your past is a stepping stone for you to grow to become a better person.

           10. Give up perfectionism.

Is there a perfect world? No. If you believe that everything has to be perfect before you go after your vision, think again. Don’t hinder your goals pursuit because you believe that everything has to be perfect. Don’t squander valuable time trying to dot all the “I’s and cross all the “T”s. If you fall into this trap you won’t accomplish much.

Trust me, it is okay not to be perfect, because “being perfect” is not real. It’s just wishful thinking. It does not exist. The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done. You will hinder your progress if you believe the perfect lie.

11.Live outside your comfort zone

The number one thing I persistently see holding people back is their wiliness to live in a comfort zone. They feel uncomfortable and believe they require additional knowledge, skill or experience before they can move out there comfort zone. This is the kind of thinking that stifles personal growth and success.

Life will throw you curveballs. Your life’s curveballs are trying to shift you from your comfort zone. The desire to remain in your comfort zone is natural and because of that instinctive need, we jump on the someday bandwagon and push our goals and dreams to the side until another day. If you desire to live your vision at maximum capacity, you must be willing to live outside your comfort zone because that is where the growth is.

           12. Keep things simple.

We have over complicated our world with too many choices. There are many studies that indicate the more choices we have the more we delay or take no action. I have learned that when there are fewer choices to make there is less stress and confusion. But, unfortunately, in our 21st Century world, we are inundated with too many choices.

You go to the grocery store and there are 20 different types of tissue. You go to a restaurant and there are 25 entrees to choose from. You go to purchase a car and there 15 models to choose from. The solution is to simplify.

If you are trying to make a decision about something in your life don’t waste all your time evaluating every last detail of every possible option. Choose something that you think will work and take action. If it doesn’t work out, learn all you can from the experience, choose something else and keep moving forward.

“If you get stuck, draw with a different pen. Change your tools; it may free your thinking.” Paul Arden

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  • Bernard K. Haynes

    Author, Speaker and Coach

    Lead to Impact, LLC

    I am the CEO of Lead to Impact ( and I help people lead the way they were meant to lead. I specialize in training, coaching and consulting individuals and organizations in personal growth and leadership development.