LGBTQ pride flag painted on wall

In October 2020, I came out on Facebook as genderqueer. This caused one of my mother’s friends to see the post and call her to tell her as well. I didn’t want that part of my life to reach her but one of her friends saw the post on his home feed and reported it to her.

It led to her asking me to move out of the home, which would have been the first time I’ve ever done so. It was frightening to me because it made me realize I’d be on my own for the first time in my life. Looking back on it, that decision on her part was the best thing she could have done for me.

I am glad she asked me to move out and I wanted to discuss the impact it has had on my life almost a year later.

I got to travel the world on my own terms.

This is the one of the things that has stuck with me over the past few months. I got to travel the East coast of the United States on my own for several months before settling down in the state of Florida.

I’ve gotten to stay with some great people, who have helped me realize that it’s okay for me to live as a member of the LGBTQ+ community with pride. I got to see some great places and live in some even greater homes.

I’ve become a much stronger person because so much of my travels took place when I was by myself. I didn’t realize how much strength I had within myself until I took my first 5-hour road trip on my own.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to be who I am with pride.

I grew up in a very strong Christian household, where certain things were heavily frowned upon. We went to church every Sunday and I got used to it very quickly.

I was complacent in my earlier years and believed everything I was told. I went day in and day out without looking back to see if anything I was told was the truth for me.

I was told that my current lifestyle was a sin and that is what I struggled with over the past year and a half before I came out. I realized, after speaking with my brother after I was outed, it’s okay to be myself.

My relationship with G-d is my own and not at the discretion of other people. I came to realize after I left the home in February 2021 that no one was in control of what I believe but me.

I could live my life as a vocal member of the LGBTQ+ community without the hatred or judgment of those opposed to my lifestyle. I could always tune it out.

Learning is a process.

I can’t say I came to these conclusions immediately after I was asked to leave the family home. I can’t even say that I left on my own terms.

But there is one thing I can say with certainty: I am a work in progress. I am openly gender queer and proud of it. I am happy to be who I am and am happy that I am free to express myself how I see fit.

I know that not everyone has that same luxury and I’ve learned not to take it for granted. I’m happy to be who I am and won’t change it for the world.


  • Lisa Fourman

    LGBTQ+ Freelance Writer (they/them)

    I create killer blog posts for companies who want to make more of an impact in the LGBTQ+ community through the written word.