Being a bridesmaid can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a whole lot of work. You may find yourself excited to take on the role of a lifetime for your close friend, family member, or friend that feels like a family member, scratching your head over what you should do, and when you should do it.

Since you may find yourself walking a fine line between stressing the bride out with your big ideas and antics and not doing enough to support her because you’re not quite sure what it is you should do, the trick to being an all-star bridesmaid is simply just remembering how to be a good friend.

As a professional bridesmaid, I’ve found myself pep talking many bridesmaid through the process, letting them know the do’s and don’ts of being there for a bride and even a friend turned bridezilla.

To kick off your bridesmaid adventure on the right foot, here are 3 must-do tips to follow from now until the moment you finish walking down the aisle.

1. Don’t Ask If the Bride Needs Help

It’s a well-known fact that when you ask someone who is totally stressed out with things to do how you can help, you end up stressing them out a whole lot more. Instead of asking what you can do to help out the bride, suggest things you can do to take some of the to-do list items off the bride’s list. Whether it’s offering to spend Sunday with her going to bridal stores or a weeknight helping her stuff invitations.

2. Wear What You Have to Wear

It’s okay that you don’t absolutely love the bridesmaid dress that you have to wear. In the end, you’ll only have it to wear it for 8 hours before taking it off and sticking it n the back of your closet. Before the bride’s picked out what dress she’d like you to wear, you can give her any and all thoughts and suggestions you have. But after the dress has been picked out and shipped out, it’s time to just say a big giant yes to the dress.

3. Don’t Spend A Lot of Money

One thing not many people know the first time they are a bridesmaid is that it can be very expensive. You’ll be be asked to shell out money for the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, and even the bridesmaid dress. It’s important that after you accept being a bridesmaid, the next thing you do is set a budget for yourself and stick to that budget so that you don’t spend all your cash on a wedding for somebody else.

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