We all have a number of roles we take on in life. When we are clear about who we are, our roles become less like disguises and more like opportunities to shine.

When we have a solid connection with ourselves, it’s easier to see and understand ourselves through the ups and downs in life. Being grounded in our truth helps decrease our need to protect ourselves through striving, or hiding behind our many roles.

When we honour our truth, regardless of what is before us, we get rewarded with a sense of inner peace and alignment.

Sometimes we may drift away from ourselves, or forget who we are at our center. Maybe we put on so many masks, the weight of the layers cracked our foundation. Or perhaps life served up more than we could handle and the pressure severed the connection we had with ourselves.

When we come back to our foundation and honour who we are at our core, we begin to mend the cracks that disconnect us from our essence. When we own our truth and light, we strengthen who we are from the inside out.

Our essence has nothing to do with being perfect – it has everything to do with perfection. When we own our full essence, we begin to see and accept ourselves in all of our darkness and light. We begin to notice who we are is so much more than the roles we are in.

Whenever I lose my way under the weight of my many roles, I use these 3 powerful questions to remember my essence and honour my truth. Next time you find yourself at odds with yourself, give them a try and see how they fit for you.

1. Who Am I?

When we ask ourselves: “Who Am I? “, it can initially feel like a heavy question. Without thinking, we might immediately start naming off our many roles – I am a mom or dad, sister, brother, wife, husband, teacher, etc. But if we look underneath the question, we can get to the heart of it by naming our essence.

Our essence is the feeling we receive when we are deeply connected to our truth. It might feel like love, or peace or joy – or whatever word feels right to you.

When we name our essence, we give it power. We expand our essence by connecting to who we are and showing up in our truth in all of our roles.

2. How do I want to feel?

Knowing how we want to feel is extremely important. If we don’t know how we want to feel, but we are hyper-focused on why we don’t feel great, we will loop around the same vicious cycle without an end in sight.

A quick way to stop this cycle is to pause and simply ask yourself: “How do I want to feel?” This simple, yet powerful question will give you valuable insight.

You can continue inquiring with questions like:

What makes me happy?

What do I want?

What essence do I want more of in my life?

Give yourself lots of space to answer the questions for yourself. Knowing how we want to feel helps us move forward in a way that’s aligned with our personal definition of happiness.

3. Am I in alignment?

When we know who we are and we have an idea of how we want to feel, the next question to ask is: “Am I in alignment?” Does who I am and how I want to feel, mirror how I’m being? Am I showing up in alignment in my role right now?

If the answer is yes, then connect deeper to that. If the answer is no, then look at what you can do to bring more of your essence and desired feeling into your interactions and roles. Sometimes it might mean setting healthy boundaries and saying no. Other times it might mean offering ourselves more love and compassion. It could be we need to be more compassionate and loving in our roles.

Asking ourselves the questions gives us insight and information we need to move forward. But in order to be in alignment, we must put all of our answers into action through honouring ourselves in all of our roles.

We honour ourselves by following through with what we know is true for us. By staying in alignment with who we are – no matter how uncomfortable it may initially feel.

When we honour who we are, we can show up in life without wearing disguises or hiding our truth. Honouring our essence allows us to be who we are and align with what brings us a sense of happiness and peace.

How might you honour your essence today?


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Originally published at emilymadill.com


  • Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach, ACC with a BA in business and psychology. Emily is one of Thrive Global's Editors-at-large. She has published 11 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; TUT. com; Best Self Magazine; MindBodyGreen; The Muse; WellthyLiving.ca; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program offering courses that support others to create lasting habits around self-love, well-being and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: emilymadill.com