Do you trust in life? Do you find yourself endlessly worrying about what could go wrong?

When faced with uncertainty, is your default to hunker down and attempt to control as many of life’s moving parts as possible?

I get what it’s like to run at a high speed while juggling life’s different moving parts. I prefer order over chaos and I’m most comfortable when my space and life is organized.

I admit it, I like to feel like I have a handle on life.

But striving to maintain control in our lives can come with a cost. It’s easy to get in our own way when it comes to order and control.

There is a fine line between having a handle on life and being willing to loosen our grip on life.

Too much order and striving has a way of severing our joy and taking us out of our own adventure.

Here are 3 reasons why it’s good to release control and allow life to naturally unfold. These reasons serve as reminders to loosen your grip on life and enjoy the wild adventure while you can.

Reason #1: Too Much Effort Creates Resistance

There is a tipping point when too much effort and micro-managing begins to look like strain, pressure and stress. Too much force has a way of sabotaging what we are working toward.

If we were to plant a flower seed, we would set up the right conditions for the flower to thrive and grow. We’d ensure it was planted where there was enough sun and water. Perhaps we would do the daily watering and remove any weeds that got in the way.

But, if we started to primp and prod too much, we would get in the way of the flower’s natural process necessary to bloom. If we stood over the soil patch waiting and fretting over when and if the flower will bloom, we wouldn’t speed up the process. However, we would ruin the joy of gardening and cause way more stress on ourselves than necessary.

The same holds true for our goals, our dreams and our overall lives. We do ourselves a favor when we show up, put in our best effort and simply focus on enjoying our day.

We can release our grip on life by reminding ourselves there is a grace period before things come to fruition. The idea is to: show up, be open, let go and have fun.

Allow space for Grace to do her thing – she won’t disappoint.

Reason #2 Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

How and with whom we experience life, has a lot to do with how we choose to show up each day. If we are hyper-focused on how busy and overwhelmed we feel, we tend to draw in more experiences with the same overwhelming tone.

If our experience of life doesn’t feel good, we can use our discomfort as a signal to make a shift. The best way to shift is to tap into our inner-knowing. When we close the gap between how we are showing up and how we would like to feel, we step into alignment. When we show up in our truth, our experience of life will shift.

As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together. In order to draw in your true flock or tribe, it’s best to stay true to yourself and not overthink or over-do.

If we attempt to control too many aspects of our lives, we begin to shut the door on possibilities. We can begin letting go of the incessant desire to control our lives when we trust in our inner guide and natural rhythm of life.

Reason #3 Goals Are Moving Targets

Our goals, hopes and dreams are always going to be moving targets – that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with striving to reach our dreams or continuing to create goals and hopes for our lives. In fact, our goals create an anchor between where we are now and where we would like to get to.

The important distinction to remember is that the in-between part is our life adventure. How we choose to fill the in-between space becomes our experience of life.

Usually what happens when we reach our goals, is we turn around and create new goals. That’s the fun! But, it’s not fun if we fill the adventure with too much striving, worrying and being hard on ourselves or others.

The idea is to have fun setting goals, and have even more fun reaching them. The process of getting there is the part where you get to dance your dance and move with the ebbs and flows of life.

Releasing control is an act of faith. When we make space to allow the magic of life to unfold, we give ourselves permission to fill our adventure with all the things we love.

What will your adventure look like when you loosen your grip on control and allow the magic of your life to unfold?


Like what you read? Sign Up for weekly inspiration with Emily’s featured articles, self-care tips and weekly inspiration and receive a free copy of ‘Self-Care Success’ by Emily Madill.

If you are wanting to connect to who you are on a deeper level, or if you would like to create a self-care and self-love practice — come on over and join our growing community within the E-Course, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’. It’s a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you.

Originally published at


  • Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach, ACC with a BA in business and psychology. Emily is one of Thrive Global's Editors-at-large and a coach at BetterUp. She has published 11 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; TUT. com; Best Self Magazine; MindBodyGreen; The Muse;; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program offering courses that support others to create lasting habits around self-love, well-being and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: