Life is not easy. No one has it easy.

You know you can deliver. You know you can help people. You know you can add value. You truly want to make an impact. Yet, the questions are always the same. The questions that always get asked are:

  • How do I make an impact?
  • How do I stay top of mind?
  • How do leave a legacy?

In order to figure it out though, one question needs to be answered: What is the most important thing you look for when you decide who to pay attention to?

The answer: relevance. People who are relevant to our current situation will be people we focus on. When you are relevant you will have the biggest opportunity to inspire the most amount of impact.

The solution: not so simple. If you are not relevant your impact will be diminished. Your impact won’t be what it should. In order to be relevant you first must be wanted. To be wanted you need to make others feel important. If they feel important, they will want to be around you.

The real world is the greatest science lab. After living and working extensively in Asia, South America, Europe, and North America there are some common behaviors that the most impactful people share. Culture doesn’t matter. Gender doesn’t matter. Economic status doesn’t matter. Intellect doesn’t even matter.

These are the only things that matter, and they are behaviors that you can model today:

Care Deeply For Others (1)

“In every part of your business life, you will find that the significant people all have the denominator of caring as part of their character and their personalities.” — Brian Tracy

The people with the greatest impact, who we aspire to be like, are the ones that care the most.

If you don’t care — even at the most basic level — you will not be successful. If you want to cause change, to drive influence, you must care about people first. The trick is to not care about what they think about you but to care if you have had a positive impact on them. Make others feel important first, so you can help them second.

Those who care the most, win the most. When you care, others can feel it. When you care, you will develop empathy. When you care you will be curious. When you care, you will find ways to help others.

Since we are naturally selfish and naturally self-centered, this requires a shift in thinking. We must shift the way we think about others. The drive to impact must come from within while being outwardly focused on others. You must adapt and change.

The real change though comes in your mindset, your way of being, your way of thinking. You must think about the other person. You must think about your audience. You must constantly see them and their needs. When you see their needs and desires as equal to your own, you are well on your way to truly showing that you care.

Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychoanalyst, firmly believed in a concept called “unconditional positive regard,” which is defined as “caring about, respecting, liking, and accepting people for who they are…” When you can fully see others for who they are, you will treat them better. They will feel important when you show them you care.

Everyone always wants to follow the ones who make them feel the best. As you help others feel important, you will stay relevant.

Do The Work (2)

“I hope I work effectively, but I never feel I have exhausted what I should be doing… I believe we have a responsibility to be a good influence on others.”- Thomas S. Monson

The people with the greatest impact, who we aspire to be like, get stuff done.

If it was easy, everyone would do it. The more effort you put forth in serving others, the important you will become in their eyes. Results win. Excuses loose.

If you want to help, do it. Nothing beats fear like action. Nothing makes people trust you more than delivering results. When you work hard you connect with others on a human level. Work is a basic human need for fulfillment, so the people we aspire to follow are people who are also like us in many ways. Work is part of nature, part of our existence. We trust people who work hard.

Part of the work is staying engaged. It means honoring the time of others by putting forth your best effort. Doing the work is sharing feedback, sharing expertise, and designing solutions for others.

By working hard, you will stay relevant to the people you serve.

Stay Humble (3)

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” — Ernest Hemingway

The people with the greatest impact, who we aspire to be like, are truly humble.

This doesn’t mean they are not confident, or extroverted, or even brash. It means they understand their value but they also understand that they are not alone. They have been helped along the way and help others too.

Humility will set you apart. Humility will allow you to show gratitude. Humility will make sure you build the right relationships with the right people.

You are not better than others. You are just better than who you were yesterday. As you focus on staying humble, others will notice how they feel around you, and you will stay relevant.

Putting all of this into practice will change your life.

It will change your life because you will help so many others. To actually do this takes a concentrated effort. You must focus on what author Kimberly Davis calls your Super-Objective. Which is your purpose and your actions. To find your Super-Objective define your purpose, define your impact, and then decide what you will do and who you will help. Once those are lined up and put onto paper, you can begin to take action.

Taking action is the only thing that ever matters. Taking actions requires courage.

Courage is the ability to take proper action in the face of fear, pain, or grief.

Have courage so you can give others encouragement. When others feel courage around you, then you will be relevant.

The more people you inspire; the more impact you will deliver.

The more people you serve; the more people you will impact.

The more people you encourage; the more others will want you to impact them.

Your relevance will stay intact as your put others first.

As you deeply care about others, work hard, and stay humble your influence grow. Your impact becomes undeniable. You will fulfill your potential.

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Originally published at medium.com