‘Everyone thinks I’m confident and my life and business are successful; they have no idea of the inner turmoil I go through daily with continual self-doubt.’
‘Who am I to be talking about or doing this?’
I hear statements like this all the time. And I get it. I used to feel the same way. Imposter Syndrome impacts so many of us to the extent it’s sometimes spoken about as if it’s simply part of life that you have to put up with.
I heard a very successful businesswoman share that she suffered from it. She went on to name a Hollywood celebrity who struggled with it and essentially said if this famous actress suffered with it, there is no hope for the rest of us; I beg to differ.
There is absolutely no reason you have to be walking around doubting yourself nor hold back your potential. Inner work can resolve imposter Syndrome.
In my experience, it shows up in two ways:
1) You either push through the self-doubt, the inner chatter that drives you nuts, the feeling that any moment you’ll be found it. And you create success, but you don’t experience inner freedom. Your success is external but not internal.
OR
2) The self-doubt, the constant inner voice, stops you in your tracks or at least holds back your progress significantly, so you never reach your potential or build your business into what is possible.
I was 2). If there was one thing I didn’t doubt, it was that I doubted myself! I knew it, and I experienced the effects of it daily in my business.
Despite my experience, knowledge and skills, I constantly worried that my work wasn’t good enough. My clients wouldn’t get the results they desired, and it was down to me and my skills. I couldn’t for the life of me talk about my work without feeling I’d be called out for being a fraud! And despite my client successes, the idea of sharing case studies and testimonials brought me out in a cold sweat.
I remember a mentor describing how she saw me, and I wondered what she was talking about. She asked me how I viewed myself, and my response floored her. That was when I realised there was some distortion happening.
And I’d had enough. I knew something was amiss, and if I didn’t sort it out, I’d never live the life nor grow the business that I wanted. That’s all changed because of the three steps I share below.
Finally, I own my work and who I am because I realised what was going on. Today, I happily share case studies of my work because I want others to see how they’re not alone. I want them to see themselves in the examples and see what’s possible on the other side. I want women to know this isn’t something you tolerate.
I coined the phrase ‘The distorted lens’ to explain what Imposter Syndrome is. The lens through which I saw myself was distorted. There was a mismatch between my external credentials and what I felt inside.
Time and time again, I see this with my clients; their lens of themselves has become distorted over time, and it needs readjusting—kind of like when you go to the opticians. If you’re walking around with the wrong lens, everything you see is blurred; when the lens is adjusted, you get to see things differently.
Here are three things you can do to heal the distorted lens, own your expertise and build a life and business you love.
1) As tempting as it may be, do not purchase another certification to increase your education.
I know you’re probably looking at one right now! But until you readjust the lens through which you see yourself, it’ll end up being another certificate to feel a fraud about.
Instead, list out all the experience, education and skills you currently have and decide that you will do the work to own this before you add in anymore.
Now, I’m not saying never to do another course; I love to learn! I’m always learning more, but I now do it from a place of desire to learn more instead of purchasing from a feeling of not being enough as I am. It’s very different.
Decide that from today onwards, you will commit to doing the work to get rid of this feeling of being an Imposter, of not being good enough as you are.
2) Write down how you feel about yourself and how you view yourself.
Then ask five trusted people for their assessment of how they see you. It could be clients, friends, employees. I know this will feel incredibly nerve-wracking, but this exercise aims to uncover the gap, i.e. the distortion. Because I guarantee there is one. Your mirror will be reflecting something very different to what they see.
3) Commit to doing the inner work to heal the gap.
You were born a beautiful, divine, complete woman, i.e. your truth. Life experiences have led you away from this truth. She is still within you, though, and your job is to peel back the layers to reveal her again. Readjusting the distortion involves identifying the root cause and healing it. So when you see your reflection, it is mirroring who you are instead of your current distorted view.
The good news is that you don’t have to go back over every past event in your life. You’re simply looking for the core wounds that have distorted your reflection. That’s all!
When you do this work, you realign your inner world with your external success. The idea that you’re an imposter, a fraud, that you’re not good enough falls away because there is no distortion. It’s gone. You can build the life and business you desire by showing up as YOU, who is enough, always has been.