Happy Mother Holding Son

Oh boy, mom burnout couldn’t have been any more real than in 2020.

Parks closed down. Restaurants closed. School programs closed. Child who needs a speech therapist — in full effect. Give birth to my 2nd baby — in full effect. Stalling plans to purchase our dream home — completely stalled.

I remember each time something bad or heavy happened, it was easy to just, blame it on the year.

But there’s ONE thing that kept me going. One thing I just couldn’t let falter, and it’s the joy that comes along the wild circus of being a mom.

The truth is, I’m just happy to be a mother.

Before having kids, I thought I knew what happiness was.

I thought having unlimited amounts of time to myself without having to take care someone else was happiness. Boy, was I so wrong.

I never felt the feeling of true joy until I became a mom.

I’m not talking about the classic “oh yeah having kids is great”, but deep down you’re second-guessing your decisions in life. I’m talking about the deeper root meaning to my existence because I am now raising little people who depend on me.

mom and child laying in grass

I’m finally happy with who I’ve grown to be

Having kids is like having a fast-track path to pushing yourself outside of all your comfort zones at once.

You can either fight through the challenges and grow as an individual or refuse to bend and keep spinning the same circles.

I look forward to the days, regardless of what challenges lay ahead because my boys have taught me I’m stronger than most of them. And even if I’m not, I’ll work hard until I am.

My relationship with my husband has never been better

Similar to the last point, relationship issues after kids is no joke. You either grow from them or your crumble.

I’d be lying if I said my husband and I breezed through these challenged, but we sure fought hard to get to where we are today.

This year, was the first year we sat down and wrote down goals heading into the New Year. It felt so nice knowing we were headed into 2021 as a team. As a united pair on the same page with the same goals.

Together, we will accomplish them all, but more importantly set an example for our boys of what a truly happy marriage looks like.

It isn’t about me anymore

2020 Christmas really hit home for me. It’s always been a holiday I’ve loved to celebrate, but 2020 was extra special.

It was the first my 2-year old toddler actually understood what was happening.

He finally learned who Santa was and that he brings gifts to ALL boys and girls.

It finally hit me, this holiday wasn’t about me or anyone else but them.

It was about pausing during the busy days and building memories with one another by building pop-tart Christmas houses. It was about taking more pictures (preferably with the polaroid since we always forget to lug it along). It was about spending time together with the TV off and our cellphones tucked away.

It was about harnessing the holiday with all our being and turning it into a memorable event we’d all remember for the rest of our lives.

So yeah, maybe 2020 was crazy, but the joy I experienced thanks to being a mom was 10x more memorable than any pandemic.