With all this news on abortion, it got me thinking about women that are dealing with this very idea of abortion but in a non-traditional way. Little girls are told what to do with themselves from how to dress; to learning to cook and clean.  These same girls grow up into voiceless adult women with little or no choice in making their own decision(s) even in their own homes.

The Dream

You see, you’ve always had this dream from the time you could remember and a burning desire to follow this dream, but first comes love, then marriage, baby number 1 and baby number 2 all within 5 years.  Fast forward three more years surely it is time to finally birth baby number 3 you think when suddenly your partner does a 360 degree and no longer supports this dream. What do you do?

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

Unfortunately this shutdown of her dreams is still the norm in society today. There are myriads of women that go through this dilemma of having to make the choice to disobey or obey, which means aborting that business idea, career, job promotion or desire to travel because it’s not time and she needs to be patient or I don’t believe in your dreams.  At some point, you have to take the bull by the horn knowing full well that you take full responsibility for the consequences of your decision as either option chosen means one of the parties involved would not be happy.

Choosing to obey, is literally watching baby number 3 or 1 depends on how you look at it being snuffed right out of your belly not giving that baby a fighting chance essentially being left with no choice.

3 Ways to Voice Your Choice and Give Your Dream the Light of Day:

You Wait…

You’ve waited this long what’s another couple of years? You tell yourself with time he’ll come around.  While you wait, it’s important you don’t stalemate, but use that as the catalyst to continuing improving yourself.  There are so many resources online for learning new skills, so no excuses. Get plugged in to the community for that dream. Attend industry meetup group events; start building your network; volunteer or start blogging. Whatever you do, don’t put your life on pause.  Come back armed with well documented research.

You Scale Down

You do go for it, but in a toned down way. You won’t be happy with this choice, but it sometimes is the happy compromise to keep the peace. Keep at it. Don’t give up because with time your partner may come around and give you the 100% support that you need to scale bigger if it was a business or for you to go back to college or graduate school or travel to10 countries in 2 years.

You Go For the Whole Shebang, YOLO

Your motto: You Only Live Once (YOLO), so no one’s going to kill your baby or take your choice away from you. Enough is enough! This is going for the jugular and living dangerously good or bad.  You have to be prepared for battle as the consequence could be even more devastating if things don’t work out. Firstly, don’t be reckless with your decision. Secondly, take stock of the financial impact on your family and be honest with yourself. It’s easy to be the dreamer here and not live in reality, it’s your body after all and no one knows what you’re going through. Thirdly, get a mentor you’re going to need one because suddenly your partner may no longer be that sounding board.  Depending on the dynamics of the relationship, this mentor could also serve as one you can confide in.  Fourthly, don’t neglect your family or health. Exercise regularly and spend quality time with your family. You don’t want the kids resenting this new baby. Just like you would prepare an older sibling for the birth of a new baby, do the same here, so you gain alignment.

It’s your choice and voice, so play it smart.


  • Lola Salvador Akinwunmi

    Leadership & Reinvention Strategist

    LolaSal Inc.

    Lola Salvador Akinwunmi is a Writer, Leadership & Reinvention Strategist who specializes in helping professional women design their second act in life. She brings more than two decades of corporate experience to her clients on their journey to uncover the next stage in their lives. As the founder of LolaSal, Inc., Lola elevates professional powerhouse women to their next level. Her award-winning clients have been featured in the Washington Post, Medscape from WebMD, the Canadian Medical Association Journal, and more.  Lola has worked with Fortune 500 and 1000 companies and has been featured in LinkedIn, Thrive Global, Brit +Co, Wealth Advisor, First for Women, Addicted to Success, The Good Men Project, CEOWorld Magazine, and is a contributor for Entrepreneur. When she’s not working, Lola spends time with her two active daughters.