People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation they may face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, as well as self-awareness and self-acceptance which is apparent to those around them. People like to spend time with these people; they feel secure in their presence.
In contrast though, there are many people who are talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.
- One of the biggest misconceptions about self-confidence is that people are born with it. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Self-confidence, like any other skill, can be learnt. All that you need is the right guidance and a belief in yourself.
- There are others who blame their low self-confidence on their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. These people don’t realise that self-confidence has nothing to do with any of these things. It is a reflection of one’s confidence. The only way you can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in yourself. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.
There are hundreds of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but it’s so true. We hear al the time about how behind the scenes these people are struggling with their own self-confidence and self-esteem.
Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.
There are people out there with far less talent than you, doing what you want to do purely because they have the belief that they CAN!
- Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence.
But you can’t simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they win over people’s respect.
We can learn a thing or two from children here. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to walk, cycle or how to swim.
In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it doesn’t take long for children to learn most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?
- Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can’t do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.
In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. Their fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly need the approval of others, and when they don’t get it they end up losing their self-confidence. This then becomes somewhat of a vicious circle. On the other Hand those with self-confidence know that it comes from within themselves and not through the approval of others. They know that in order to become confident in something you need to start doing.
Confidence comes in the doing!
No-one is instantly confident when they start something new, It takes practice, time and a few mistakes along the way. Those with self-confidence know this and embrace those challenges and re-frame those failings in to lessons so they can improve next time.
People need to realise that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person’s beauty or intelligence. It flows from a person’s self-belief, and this belief CAN be built.
All that is needed is to debunk myths that self-confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a by product of exceptional knowledge, skill and luck. Once we do that, we will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people already have.
If you’ve found this article helpful and would like to find out ways to build your own self-confidence you can grab my FREE 12 Ways to Step in to your Confidence guide.