For those of us who are gifted in the psychological arts, we see getting ghosted as a blessing bestowed on us by a generous, kind and loving ghoul.  And yes, I know the definition of ghosting:  a person who Poof! disappears and abruptly cuts off all communication with you without a clue as to why.  How boo-tiful!  Instead of feeling frustrated, wounded, confused and angry, which was indeed the intention of the ghosting, I suggest that you pay your respects to all of the Caspers in your past so you can stop being haunted by them.  Here’s why:

Getting ghosting protects us from future heartache and pain.

So generous! Ghosts eliminate the further crazymaking that would have absolutely occurred had the relationship continued.  A ghoster isn’t really capable of having good relationships, as evidenced by the flummoxing disappearing act.  They do us the kind service of sparing our sweet future selves any more of their poison.

Getting Ghosted is your own personal Hogwarts class given by a Wizard of Passive Aggression. 

There is no greater lesson about the scorched earth created by an absence of a behavior.  You learn for the rest of your life that passive aggression = aggression and as such, it will not be tolerated.  Once you’re ghosted, you will always know a covert behavior can be as deadly as an obvious one.

Getting Ghosted is great news if you want to be free of adults who don’t use their words. 

If ghosting bothers you, then you are someone who values honest and direct communication.  By definition, the ghost wasn’t that, so thank u, next.

It enables you to hone your red-flag detection skills.

 Ghosters are walking red-flags and the great thing about that is the actual ghosting is the final red-flag (Congrats!).  Your pickle is that if you are an adult, not seeing or acknowledging red-flags is also a red-flag.  Getting ghosted reminds you to trust, trust, trust that the first red-flag is a harbinger of future dysfunction or abuse.  If you truly didn’t see any red-flags, then let this pain be a love letter from your psyche lovingly asking you to heal your psychological color blindness.  If you need help, another name for psychotherapist is Red-Flag Seer.  Go!

People get really upset about being ghosted, but I truly get excited by the prospect.  Like, please ghost me.  If you do, you’re telling me everything I need to know about you and that we were never a good fit.  I’ll thank you for the lessons and free you.  Even more importantly, I’ll free myself.  I’m not going to spend another moment of my life being afraid of ghosts.

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