There are very few us of who can say they experienced what people call the perfect childhood. For most, it is rare to have been raised by healthy balanced individuals who knew how to care for themselves and meet their own needs, while also being there for their partners and children without overshadowing, bullying or helicopter parenting.

Often our parents have their own story and history which without a conscious effort and self-awareness to do something different can be perpetuated onto you.

Without concentrated effort we take on their behaviors and traits and allow our stories to define us and limit who we would like to be. We often become more like our parents than we would like to often mimic the very behaviors and traits that were so challenging to be raised with.

I have my own stories and my childhood that at one time defined who I was and how I chose to live my life. It affected my relationships, my business and most aspects of my life. These experiences are also what eventually had me choose to become a Doctor of Psychology.

I grew up in a very violent household. I experienced sexual, physical, and emotional abuse that began when I was a baby which continued well into my 20’s.

Today I’ve created a life for myself far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I travel the world for work and pleasure teaching classes that connect people to their bodies and help them move beyond abuse, from merely surviving to thriving. I have nurturing supportive relationships. And I am vibrantly vital and alive in mind, body and spirit.

So, how do we leave our story behind us? We can start by being willing to let go of our story.

Often it is that story that stops us in our tracks when we begin to get closer to the life we desire.

We get the job, the relationship – whatever it is in the moment and then our story of not good enough or always being wrong begins to cast a shadow and colors how we look at things.

We may even begin to destroy what we are creating.

Some ways we can shift gears are;

Choosing for You

Committing to You

Allow Yourself to Receive

Create Your Life

Choosing for You.

When you choose you, your needs and desires become important.

You become a priority. You can still be generous and be there for others, just without it being at your expense. You actually include yourself in all your choices and in all your relationships.

Committing to You.

When you commit to yourself, you don’t give in or give up on yourself. You never let anyone, or anything stop you. This isn’t from a fighting against others stance, we are just continually showing up and committing to choose for ourselves. Too often we bolt out the back door when things get intense or uncomfortable and yet often just beyond that discomfort the work or the life we desire. Would you be willing to show up for you?

Allow Yourself to Receive.

Many of us have become used to always stepping up and taking charge that we actually do not allow the support of others or give the space for new possibilities to come into our lives. We hold on tightly. We not only don’t ask for help, we rarely ask for what we truly desire.

What if you didn’t have to settle anymore? What if instead you could say okay I am having this, I wonder who I need to talk to in order to create this?

Create Your Life from There.

What could it create if you begin by asking some open-ended questions?

What kind of work could I do that would not only create a greater income but one that I would actually enjoy?

If I was creating my life and including myself in it, what would be fun for me to do today?

This year I made some radical choices. I chose things I never have before which have required me to truly commit to myself, to my business and to go two feet in.

I have truly stepped out of my past and no longer allow it to define who I am.

At times it is incredibly uncomfortable. I am however committed to myself and I am not going to use the stories of my past to give up on the life I am choosing to create for myself or my mission to eradicate abuse from the world.

As you choose for you and you commit to you, everything around you starts to fall into place and create more ease in your life and then your life gets created from there based off of you being all in, both feet and all.