We’ve all encountered a situation, at one time or another, when communicating to the best of our abilities, in the most rational ways possible, was still not good enough. No matter how even-grounded our responses, our level of understanding, or degree of listening, that person just couldn’t hear or understand where we were coming from. They took zero responsibility for their part in the matter. The belittling of your efforts felt suffocating, toxic, and left you feeling stuck on where to go next as all of your best communication strategies ran dry.

Well, when situations like this show up, you have to position yourself at a higher level, away from defense, judgment, and triggers. And from this stance, you do have a choice. You have the option of either changing your experience of the relationship, changing your proximity to the relationship, or even deciding if you desire to have the relationship at all. 

There have been situations where I have had to personally remove toxic, overly demanding, and dysfunctional relationships from my life because it became impossible to apply logic or sanity. While we tend to feel guilty about cutting people off while taking these measures because let’s face it, this is usually a close friend or a family member, we have to remember that healthy confrontation and curiosity will only work on people who are willing to grow and take responsibility, also.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to reclaim your own personal power and discover the solutions that will make you stronger. Here are four ways to make this happen for yourself in similar future scenarios.

  1. Only own your part: Listen to what is being said. If there’s any truth to it, own your part, even if it’s uncomfortable.  However, you are not obligated to own elements of criticism or attack that are not yours and hold no validity. You do not have to ever engage in someone else’s desire to promote emotional triggers.
  2. What other people have to say about you is not your business: Standing solid in your truth and in your values is essential to cultivating the confidence it takes to stay strong during these moments. It doesn’t matter at what level or social status this person is at, if what they say about you holds no truth to who you know yourself to be, then it is none of your business.
  3. Remove toxic people from your life: It’s time to set new boundaries and recommit to what you are energetically available for. Do you want to spend one more minute engaging with unsafe, toxic, unwell, emotionally abusive people? It’s not easy to cut ties, but you always have the choice.
  4. Focus exclusively on the love and positivity you’re committed to bringing forth in the world: Find a tribe that treats you with mutual love and respect. When you surround yourself with good-hearted, uplifting, and inspiring people, you can provide the same in return. Tighten your circle and gain clarity on what you want to allow into your life.

It’s up to you to commit to speaking up, speaking out, and speaking the truth in love. This takes understanding that you have the right, you are loved and supported by a Higher Power, and that you deserve a trigger-free life. Compassion, for yourself and others, is the key to taking the next steps needed to realign your social circle to support your well-being. As individuals, we can take on the personal responsibility of creating a world where no one is right, no one is wrong, no one is invisible, and no bridge is burned. From this position of deeper awakening and awareness, we can better understand that each of us matters and that happiness is vital in leading a healthy and epic life.