How to not take things personally in your relationships

Follow these 4 steps to keep yourself from taking things personally and be happier.

1. Begin to notice when you are taking things personally

Awareness is the first step.

The physical sensation might feel like a punch in the stomach. It might feel as if someone is pouring a “shame milkshake” on you. You might have a wave of fear or feel confused.

Hearing your inner critics voice their opinions is another sure sign you’re taking something personally. For certain, your stress level will begin rising.

Whatever you feel, begin to have an awareness of the physical sensations that are happening in your body. No need to fix it at this point. 

2. Don’t Make Assumptions

When you have compassion for yourself and the people around you, you don’t react and jump to assumptions.

Imagine that they’re having a bad day, or may have meant something totally different than what you understood. You can make up whatever story you want just to shift your mind out of taking it personally.

A sure-fire hack to not to jump to a negative conclusion and thus getting triggered is to live by the rule, “Don’t take anything personally.” Not taking things personally puts you in a more centered and grounded place where you can be the CEO of your mind.


The most common and most familiar way to respond when someone says something that triggers you is to react. When you react, you let your ego and mind get in the way.

Pain and suffering can be a result as you have not created space between what was said and the “me” it was directed to.

Noticing your physical response and then asking questions puts you in a receptive vs reactive i.e. an emotional response.

4. Ask questions when you’re feeling attacked

One hack to not taking things personally is to ask questions.

You may not always have control over many things in your life, including what people say to you, but you do have 100 percent control over how you react to each situation.

The goal of not taking things personally is to avoid unnecessary stress and conflict. Try asking a few questions to deflect unnecessary conflict.

It may also avoid the downward spiral of negative thoughts popping up in your mind.

Need Some Support?

If you’re ready to discover how to shift out of self-doubt, let’s talk!

As a Certified Life Coach, CPCC and Master Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, MNLP, I can help you create confidence, clarity, boundaries and empower you to be your best self. Want to talk? 

Schedule your free consultation


  • Jacqueline Neuwirth

    Life & Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP

    Jacqueline Neuwirth is a Board Certified Life and Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP, helping clients get unstuck in every aspect of love and relationships, from finding love, healing from a breakup, learning red flags, healing from a narcissist relationship, deciding if you should stay or leave, or how to improve your current relationship. With over 25+ years of experience consulting with individuals and Fortune 500 Companies, plus a life-long study of psychology her ten-year journey working one-on-one with a zen monk, she combines intuitive wisdom and practical tools to help people stop the cycle of negative patterns in a no-nonsense and deeply authentic way! Transform your love life with personalized guidance and support. Get ready to call in what you want most. Sign up for your free consultation.