In case you haven’t noticed my recent and frequent motivational hashtags #fitby40, I’m turning 40 next week! Birthdays are a time for reflection, and 40 is a milestone.

I’ve compiled a list of 40 things I’ve learned in 40 years, and it is my hope that I can be fortunate enough to add many more to the list. If you know me personally, then you have made a direct impact in my life in one way or another. These are things I’ve learned from family and friends. Thank you for the lessons.

  1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your life choices.
  2. Integrity is really all you’ve got, so make sure you keep it.
  3. Prayers are good for you and for others. Mantras are helpful. Practice mindfulness and meditation daily.
  4. Write things down. Good things, bad things. Physically write them down in a journal. Keep them and read them as the years pass. See how much you’ve grown and how you’ve changed. Learn from your own words.
  5. Always stay humble, but never downplay your talents. Use them to uplift others.
  6. Model #5 in front of children whenever possible. That’s how you change the world.
  7. Random acts of kindness — give them and receive them. Then write them down.
  8. You can’t force people to do what you want even if you have the best intentions. Accept this.
  9. When you ask someone for help, you have to trust that person. Let them do their thing and watch the magic unfold. Then repeat #4 and #7.
  10. Children will keep you humble. Be around them as much as possible, and learn from them.
  11. Your fur babies are the only ones who will greet you like the rock star that you are! So don’t expect your spouse and kids to greet you the same way.
  12. Your children will not always share your interests and passions. They have their own, so find out what fires them up. Learn from them. Try something new because of them.
  13. Yes, you can absolutely still choose to live a life so magnificent even if you don’t think you have the means nor the power to do so. You actually do. Find your inner badass.
  14. Run like you’re on fire. It’s good for the body and soul.
  15. Tell your inner critic to STFU and go for your dreams.
  16. Plans are great. Backup plans are better. But if nothing works, find another way. There’s always another way.
  17. Admitting your vulnerabilities in front of a crowd is liberating. It shows strength.
  18. You get what you pay for, so buy a great pair of shoes. Or two. Use them often, and don’t wait for a special occasion.
  19. Never put your passions on the back burner! You’ll just be mad at yourself.
  20. Set boundaries in your close relationships.
  21. Try new things. That’s where you can find the fire in your badassery.
  22. Stop. Breathe.
  23. When you judge other people’s choices, you’re really just questioning your own. So mind your own business and quit wasting your time worrying about other people’s lives.
  24. “Get busy” as often as possible, if you know what I mean. 😉
  25. Create art. Literature. Music. Mermaid blankets. Make it rain with so much art that you don’t have time to gossip.
  26. Take a break from social media and electronic gadgets once in a while. It’s good for the soul. “Cleaning up your friends list” is cathartic. And if people lose their shit about it, see #1–25.
  27. Trust your instincts. Do you have a “feeling” something good or bad is going to happen? Write it down.
  28. Create space and time for yourself. Physical space where you can do things you love: an art studio, a home gym, a prayer room. Go there often. Make time to be you.
  29. Wake up with gratitude even if you feel like it might be a bad day.
  30. You are sexy as hell no matter the size/shape. Own it! And if you don’t believe it, you have the power to change it.
  31. Every path you take has a risk. Don’t panic. Remember that you are 
    “stardust and you create epic, cosmic shit.”
  32. Find a “fitspirational” friend. Workout with that friend and become a better person. Then be someone else’s fitspiration.
  33. When arguing with a spouse/life partner late at night, just go to bed angry. You have work to do tomorrow, so rest up. Continue the argument later or not.
  34. Get some sleep. 40 is NOT the new 20. Your 40 year-old body needs rest. Lots of it.
  35. Don’t wait for someone to give you what you want. You’re a grown woman. Get it, girl!
  36. You’re a grown woman, yes, but you still answer to someone, so “remember to keep holy the Sabbath day,” even if you don’t go to church.
  37. Don’t expect anyone to love you “the way you want to be loved.” Cut the crap! Love YOURSELF.
  38. Relationships are an exchange of energy. Ditch the energy vampires in your life. They’re the ones who take energy but never give back. They are the gossipers, the complainers, the bullies, the downers, the fun-haters. Get away from them. Run like you’re on fire.
  39. Work for something bigger than yourself. And if you don’t know what it is, pick up a blank journal and write. You’ll figure it out.
  40. The best days of your life are in front of you, not behind you. Don’t look back!




Originally published at