Have you ever been told that:

  • Your ego is your false self and it’s out to get you.
  • Your ego needs to be diminished because it’s the part of you that feels jealousy, arrogance and insecurity.
  • Your ego is the negative aspect of yourself and the quicker you can get rid of it the better.

If you answered yes to any of these statements, you are not alone.

The ego has been classified as the unwelcome enemy of the world for a long time. Even spiritual books tells us that giving into the ego is like saying yes to the devil in some shape or form. In many spiritual teachings it’s simply unspiritual, frowned upon and quite frankly unacceptable to even think that the ego has anything good to offer.

So, is it true that our ego is something to get rid of and of no use? No, not really.

To be a hole human being, I believe there needs to be a continuous dance between our ego-less self and the ego part of us. In fact, I believe the dance in between the ego and the ego-less creates our flow! So when we choose not to participate in this dance, we risk loosing out in life, big time.

Let’s get things straight: Our ego is our identity and our personality. It’s the achiever, the do-er that wants to express itself and makes the creative juices flow and makes our vision a reality. In other words, without it we would loose our drive and flow.

Do you think the greatest teachers and leaders of our time didn’t. embrace their ego? Of course they did! They needed to integrate all of who they were in order to reach the masses, make their message heard and inspire positive change. Our ego has a lot to do with the vibrancy of the world.

I never knew I had a starving ego until later on in life and since you can’t miss what you are not aware of I never knew anything different. But when I finally became aware and started integrating and listening into my ego everything changed. I finally felt free, freer than ever before. No longer did I feel like I had to suppress parts of myself to try and fit in. The stuff I used to consider “bad” about myself no longer felt so bad anymore and I gained a new sense of compassion and understanding for all aspects of me. By embracing my ego, I finally gave myself permission to express myself with a a full voice. I began to honour my needs and became more accepting of myself and others.

As a coach I help many women with a victim mentality to take back their control and power in life and have come to understand the egos crucial and important part of healing. Integrating our ego helps us to become fully and unapologetically ok with our human selves and is a huge part of feeling fulfilled and happy.

Is your suppressed ego stopping you from getting into the flow of life? Here are #5 clues your ego might be suppressed:

1: You are scared to speak up

Being afraid to peak our truth or being judged can be a sign you would benefit from a bit of an ego-injection. People who don’t speak up tend to hold back in many areas of their lives. Ask yourself: Am I ok with speaking my truth no matter what?

2: You feel like a victim of your circumstances

Do you often feel like life happens to you and it’s out of your control? Chances are you have given your power away to someone or something else in your life and it’s causing you to feel like you are on a hamster wheel and you can’t get off. When we step into our ego and tune into what we really want, we can start to change the things in our lives that are making us feel this way.

3: You often feel jealous over other people’s success

Jealousy and cynicism is often due to a lack of self-expression. Feeling jealous over their good fortune is often an indication that we are not listening into our own truth. See your feelings of jealousy like signs from your inner self that you are not walking your path and start taking step towards doing so.

4: You feel like you are living someone else’s life

Do you often feel like you are in a dream (not the good kind) and that your life isn’t really yours? This could indicate it’s time to embrace your ego. Start looking at how you can begin to express your individuality and your talents in this world more. Are you suppressing parts of yourself that wants to be seen?

5: You put everyone else’s needs before your own

If you are an empath, a caregiver or a nurturer at heart, chances are you are putting everyone else’s needs before your own and have totally (or partially) neglected your own ego and needs. If you want to live a happy long life, integrating the ego and gently bringing all of you into your life is the only way forward. Remember, supporting ourselves is just as important as supporting others, even if you don’t think so.

What would the world would look like without the ego? Full of humility? Perhaps. Supportive? Maybe. But how exiting and fun would the world really be if there was no ego? What would happen to creativity? Imagine if we all thought the same, did the same and wanted the same thing, how terribly boring the world would be!

Naturally, embracing the ego is not positive all of the time. There are people in this world that might have taken the ego to the extreme to be seen and heard at every cost, but think about it: Aren’t some of those people instigating an opposing positive outcomes?

Madelaine Vallin is a high performance coach. Founder of the Courage 2 Rise Framework she helps people to gain courage to rise above adversity and embrace their uniqueness so they can rediscover themselves and their talents and live fulfilling lives. Connect with her via her website.