Would you choose to struggle if you knew you could experience peace? Would you rather micro-manage the many moving parts in your day, or let go and let the chips fall where they may?

There are countless ways to do life – there isn’t a right way or a wrong way. There is only the way you choose.

We are all interconnected, and yet each of us is on a solo journey. We can move with our journey, or we can push against it – the choice is ours.

Here are the 5 daily steps that help me allow the magic of my life to naturally unfold. Give them a try if they feel like a right fit for you.

Step #1: Start Each Day with a Blank Slate

Each day we are alive in the world is a new gift, unlike any previous one we’ve received. Think of your day like it’s a piece of delicious hand-crafted chocolate, wrapped in beautiful gold foil.

Will you savour your tasty treat and allow it to slowly melt in your mouth? Or are you more apt to put it in a cupboard with the thought you’ll enjoy it at some future time? Perhaps you will hurriedly stuff your treasure in the bottom of your bag, only to realize later it has been flattened from the heavy load you carry around. Maybe you follow the school of thought that your yummy gift is bad, or it will make you sick – or worse, that it doesn’t taste good.

Our life is a delectable treat, and each day we have the opportunity to savour it in a new way. The choice is ours. The important thing to remind ourselves is that it doesn’t matter how we chose to experience our gift yesterday. What matters is how we choose to consume the moments we are in.

When we decide to approach each day as a blank slate, we give ourselves the gift of taking life in right now. With a blank slate, comes new momentum we can use to point ourselves in a direction that feels good now.

Step #2: Stay Connected to How You Feel

Our feelings are like a built-in superpower. We can use our feelings as our guide. When we feel good, we are on our best path. When we don’t feel good, it’s our cue to check in with our inner wisdom. Ask yourself: What do I want here? How do I most want to feel? What is one small step I can take right now that will bring me closer to my desired feeling?

The trick is to not get all caught up in our thoughts and stories about our feelings. It’s much more effective to allow our feelings to be felt in our body, and get quiet enough for our truth to come to the surface. If you ask yourself important questions and practice listening, your inner guide will give you the answers that ring true for you.

The problem so many of us face, is we don’t trust our inner voice and guide amidst the noisy, opinionated world around us. We can get swept up in the sea of noise, and forget that our inner GPS will always help us get back on the path that feels best for us.

We do ourselves a service when we get into the habit of staying connected to how we feel. When we have our finger on the pulse of our feelings, we begin to notice how all of our feelings give us clues as to where we stand in the moment. When we are well-practiced at using our feelings as a guide, we can feel our way through how we most want to move with the day before us. That is when life’s magic comes into our view.

Step #3: Be 100% Accountable

When we believe life is happening to us, it’s a harder sell to feel empowered and embrace where we are. But when we choose to be 100% accountable for how we process and experience life, the fog lifts and our clear path becomes easier to detect.

Being 100% accountable for our personal happiness doesn’t mean we won’t have hard times in life. Being accountable means, we understand we can move towards a better feeling way of life, even if that means one teeny-tiny step at a time. Nobody can make us choose how we experience life before us, it’s up to us to decide on a moment to moment basis.

The best part of being 100% accountable is you are no longer at the mercy of others. You get to throw away all those high expectations you have for others to fulfill your happiness. Instead, you get to pursue your own sense of okayness and bliss each and every day.

Step #4: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Deciding to not take anything personally is easier said than done. If it feels like too big of a stretch, aim to sweat the small stuff less.

Here’s the thing, we are social beings and it’s normal to want to be seen and accepted by our peers. But when we make the choice to see and accept ourselves first, we feed ourselves from within.

Giving ourselves the gift of self-love and acceptance, removes the unnecessary pressure and stress from others to fulfill us. Remember, each of us is busy sorting through our own personal life journey. If we stopped expecting others to fulfill us, define us, accept us, and unconditionally love us – life would become much easier.

At the very least, it makes sense to stop allowing the voices of others to define who we are or who we are not. If you are ready to not take anything personally, get to know yourself, love yourself and accept yourself in all of your messy human form.

When you understand who you are and you like who you are, it doesn’t really matter what other people think. Everyone has their own perception, and it’s an indication of where they are on their individual journey – it’s not personal.

When we release the need to prove ourselves to each other, we open up the gateway to allow the magic of our lives to naturally unfold.

Step #5: Let Love Help You See

If all else fails, let love help you see. Everything looks and feels better through the eyes of love. I’ve shared it before and I’ll share it again – here is a poem I wrote about seeing through the eyes of humanity and love. When we view any situation through love, we free ourselves from the dark — the choice is always ours. Perhaps a timely reminder…

What would love do Here?

What would love do?

How might love transform our view?

We don’t have to get caught in the noise to search, judge and prove.

We aren’t in the dark — all we need, we choose.

Fear, confusion and growing uncertainty,

add fuel to the wildfire,

but this way of life needn’t be.

When what we desire is peace, love and light,

we must simply connect inward,

stand still and be clear.

Then ask the important question,

What would love do here?

Love is forgiving,

and love is kind.

Love changes everything

we see, feel and find.

When you want darkness to pass

and space to feel free,

Just ask the question

and let love help you see.

Every day is a new journey and opportunity to allow the magic of your life to naturally unfold. Simply reset, trust your feelings and above all be kind and gentle with yourself.


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Originally published at emilymadill.com.


  • Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach, ACC with a BA in business and psychology. Emily is one of Thrive Global's Editors-at-large and a coach at BetterUp. She has published 11 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; TUT. com; Best Self Magazine; MindBodyGreen; The Muse; WellthyLiving.ca; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program offering courses that support others to create lasting habits around self-love, well-being and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: emilymadill.com