It’s a fact: our lives work better when our most treasured family relationships are healthy and positive. Likewise, the relationship you have with money greatly influences these relationships, and ultimately your life satisfaction. In my experience, there is no more volatile and divisive subject than money in a relationship.

Unsurprisingly, friction often occurs around money in marriage and partnership relationships where studies show that money is the single greatest point of contention. We bring our individual money histories and the emotional relationship we have with money into our relationships, and then expect to achieve alignment, where the reality is that perspectives and opinions are often vastly different. Adding to that, we often haven’t been taught how to communicate about money. When stress and tension around financial decisions surface, it can be easier to simply keep the subject of money off-limits to avoid fighting and frustration.

  • Calculating and coming to an agreement on what type of lifestyle you want to enjoy
  • Agreeing on financial priorities for spending and saving
  • Determining who will fill the financial management role for the family
  • Aligning both partners’ core values
  • Deciding whether money contributed by each person in the relationship is shared or not.

Having these discussions will help determine key aspects in your relationships, including marriage, friends and extended family, leading to healthier relationships, and happier lives for everyone involved.

Originally published on Quora.