There would be no wrong in saying that emotions are a critical source of information for learning. More than IQ, expertise, or any other factor, emotional intelligence accounts for almost 90% of the success at work. Undoubtedly IQ is a threshold competence, it is your major requirement but it does not make you a star, but emotional intelligence can.
In layman’s terms, the meaning of ‘to be emotionally intelligent’ is ‘to be capable of developing a better understanding of human emotions and recognize the power of those emotions so that they can be handled properly.’ emotional intelligence is one of the 10 crucial job skills since 2020. Over 80% of employees consider emotional intelligence important for the development of their career. Not only this, almost 82% of the organizations have now incorporated emotional intelligence(EQ) test for executive positions, 72% of those organizations give that EQ test to middle management and only 59% of the organizations give EQ test at an entry-level position.
Let me astonish you with this, a single-point increase in your emotional intelligence can add $1,300 to your salary! Alas, the significance of emotional intelligence is something that cannot be neglected at any cost.
2021 is half left. If you have yet not achieved your emotional intelligence goals, then you are in the right place at the right time.
Here is the list of five pointed questions circulating emotional intelligence. Each of the questions asks whether you develop a routine out of specific behavior. You must figure out your honest answer to each of them.
- In case your answer is ‘yes’ to each of the mentioned questions, and you are confident with your answer, then that’s splendid.
- Contrary to this if you’re not sure and your answer is ‘no’, then read a little deeper for effective habits that will assist you to develop each behavior and enhance your emotional intelligence.
Consider this practice as behavioral scaffolding. With the practical application of mentioned tricks, you’ll be able to develop your mental muscle memory to a certain level where they become automatic. Then, you can cast away the figurative scaffolding and tick one more box on your personal growth to-do list.
Let’s get this show on the road.
Question #1: Can you tell the difference between your requirements and other people’s requirements?
This has to do with recognizing other people’s perspectives and adjusting what you have to say so that it fits the requirements of other people. Let us consider an example. Suppose you want to sell out your house. A young couple along with two children comes to look at it. You say to them “ this house is perfect for you and your children as they grow. I would love to sell this house to you.” By saying this, you are increasing the likelihood that they’ll take an action that leads to what you actually want.
Question #2: Do you use convergent responses?
Convergent responses are the responses that suggest that you are going to work according to the one person’s feelings and thoughts in a manner of speaking. It is contrary to parallel responses, which suggests that you already understand what another person feels because of your past experiences. Let us demonstrate some of the examples,
- The parallel response is “I completely understand how you feel” whereas the convergent response is “I’m all ears to you, and I think that [XYZ].”
- The parallel response is “Yes, I know ” whereas the convergent response is “I would actually love to understand”.
- The parallel response is “I am exactly right there with you” whereas the convergent response is “Please tell me how can I help you in such stances”
The point to ponder is true empathy is a signal of emotional intelligence and its requisites work. Picking the right words not only develops a sense that you are trying to understand, but it also sets you practically to do so.
Question #3: Do you always have another question?
Running out of questions results in unnecessary pauses in conversations and losing the interest of other people as well. Asking questions is a great practice as it keeps people engaged in the conversation and makes the talk more insightful for both parties. This practice is beneficial in both personal conversations as well as professional interactions. This practice not only adds more to your knowledge but also, asking questions helps in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement.
Question #4: Do you know how to use tactical patience in conversations?
You might be wondering what tactical conversational patience is? Well, this is basically the art of saying nothing. You might be advised to pause and think before you speak but many of us do not follow this advice because we tend to fill pauses for the prevention of awkwardness, seeming illness at ease, or uncharismatic. The effortless way to practice the patient is to develop a habit of counting time quietly before replying in situations like,
- A customer approaches with a complaint.
- An employee or colleague comes with a personal problem.
- A relative or loved one sends you a text message with a request which is hard to fulfill.
Don’t rush in situations like these, but instead, use tactical patience. This way your replies will become simpler and better because you keep the count of your pause before giving a reply or responding to the situation.
Question #5: Do you learn and practice casual phrases with calculated and precise meanings?
This is the most crucial trick for enhancing emotional intelligence. This involves doing a little bit of homework that proves to be helpful in repetitive and common situations that lead to miscommunication otherwise. Think of a situation in the past in which you said something reflexively that made you cringe in remembrance later. After that, calculate go-to phrases that you can memorize for the achievement of better results in the future.
For instance,
- Instead of saying “I can’t do that work for you, I’m sorry”, say “I can’t do that work for you. Thanks for understanding”.
- Instead of saying “I don’t want to go on a date with you, I’m sorry”, say “Thanks for asking but unfortunately I’m going to decline. Thanks for understanding”.
- Instead of saying “We can’t meet the price that you are asking for, I’m sorry.”, say “We have to charge you a bit more, thanks for understanding”.
This practice moves you away from unnecessary apologies and substitutes them with something that reflects both gratitude as well as control. This way, your conversations will be equipped with better language.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence is exercised by asking questions as it keeps the conversations focused, signals interest, and keeps other people involved. Frankly speaking, it decreases bad opportunity costs. You’re probably not making any poorly thought-out assertions that you might regret later if you are asking a question. It would be great to keep the count of questions you ask in every conversation.
Here’s a trick for you. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not paying enough attention to the conversations, and you can’t really come up with a question, use the phrase “tell me more about that”. This is actually a magic statement that is in fact a question and can be used in almost every situation. Hence, emotional intelligence is the most valuable thing and one must acquire certain effective practices for the enhancement of their emotional intelligence.