You and I are wired to seek permission.
When we were kids, we needed permission from parents, teachers and other elders.
When we grow up, we seek permission from our bosses and authorities.
Our mind is conditioned to ask for permission. But to unlock your full potential, you must learn to give yourself permission and become the owner of your life.
When you take complete ownership of your life, you are in charge of your life experiences. There is no space for blame or excuses.
Many people give keys to their life in the hands of other people or they themselves become the prison guard. They forget that they have the key to unlock the full potential of their life.
I’m here to remind you the permissions you must give yourself.
Give yourself permission to succeed
You are capable of accomplishing great things. But first, you must allow yourself to be successful.
Some people are afraid of success. Some people think that being successful means making a lot of money or being greedy. Such mental programming has to leave your mind.
Success is subjective. You have the power to define your own criteria for success. It could be being a good husband or wife, having a smile at the end of the day, having the freedom to travel the world or taking small steps towards your goal.
No matter what success means to you, you must own it and live up to it. Forget about what society’s definition of success is. Write your own definition and move in its direction.
To make success a habit, set more behavior-based goals instead of outcome-based goals. For example, if you want to lose weight, define success by making the right food choice instead of the number on the weight scale. If you keep succeeding at the behavior-based goals and move in the right direction, the outcome will follow.
Start now. No matter how small the first step is. No matter how slow the progress is.
By default, life has no meaning. But if you strive for greatness, you can give your life a purpose.
Give yourself permission to fail
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.― George Bernard Shaw
Failure is a form of learning.
I don’t know why schools punish failure.
Failure is not a prerequisite for success but it amplifies the success. By making mistakes, you not only learn, but you build a character that transforms every other area of your life. Your mindset changes. You embrace success more because of the effort you put in.
If you let go of the fear of failure, you will not be afraid to explore the possibilities of your life. You will become limitless because you know that making mistakes speeds up your learning and results in growth.
Allow yourself to be imperfect. Put your product or craft in public. Embrace feedback.
All the newsflash, magazines, social media feeds show us the faces of successful people. It seems like they are the perfect people living a perfect life with zero flaws. But in reality, they are like you and me. They just keep on learning from failures.
In the world where success is preached, don’t be afraid to look like a fool. Failure is not a scar on your self-esteem. It’s a battle scar you can be proud of.
Give yourself permission to be yourself
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
When we fake our identity, we try to live up to the fake version we show to the world.
It’s stressful to live up to people’s expectation of who they think you are. On the other hand, if you be yourself, the right people will attract in your life and you won’t have to put energy into showing a fake version of you.
The first step to being yourself is to accept yourself. It means not only accepting the good parts but also accepting the flaws in you.
The reason why we put on a mask is that it is our instinct to get accepted in communities. We could only survive if we were part of a group. The outcasts were rejected and they could not live long.
But today, when you have access to so many people, you don’t have to fear people’s rejection. You will always find like-minded people if you express yourself as you are.
Let go of all the emotional baggage. Forgive yourself and move on. All you have is today. You get to define your future and it can only be great if you stop hurting yourself with the pain of the past.
From today, you can control who you want to be. Define your values, set goals, follow your passion and stay true to yourself.
Don’t be afraid to change. Raise your standards and if you have to, let go of your past identity and change the people around you.
Learn to say no to the people or experiences that do not to appeal you. Life is too short to be inauthentic.
I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time. ― Herbert Bayard Swope
Give yourself permission to be happy
You deserve to be happy now.
You don’t need to wait for the next paycheck, vacation or a soulmate to be happy. So often, we spend our lives thinking about the time in future when we will be happy.
Even after getting what we want, we get hedonically adapted to the gifts in our life. It’s okay to desire more success but first, you must learn to be happy with what you have.
Happiness is a skill. If you can’t be happy today, you won’t be happy tomorrow. To develop the happiness skill you can practice gratitude and mindfulness.
Take a break and do things that you find fun or relaxing. You don’t have to pretend to enjoy the activities that other people might like.
Create a bucket list of the life experiences you want to have and live those experiences. Nobody else will give you the permission to live your life the way you want.
Another way to be happy is to help others. Kindness not only makes the world a better place, it lets you see past the problems you have in life.
Give yourself permission to feel crappy sometimes
The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. ― Mark Manson
No matter how much you try to avoid the negative emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy, etc., you will feel them sometimes in your life.
You don’t have to feel bad about feeling bad. It’s okay to feel that way.
It’s in nature of humans to feel emotions. Instead of resisting such emotions, just observe when they arrive. When you acknowledge them and treat them as a guest, they will leave sooner than you expect them to stay in your mind.
Emotions are beautiful. They help us to deal with hard situations. Become aware of your emotions and soon you will return to your default positive state if you practice the skill of being a happy person.
Don’t let negative emotions define you. Identify yourself as a happy person and treat negative emotions as something you feel temporarily.
The key to your best life is in your hand. Unlock the life you deserve to live because your life matters.
Give yourself permission to succeed, fail, be yourself, be happy and feel crappy to achieve your full potential and live a fulfilled life.
Success is a result of daily actions…
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Originally published at medium.com