When you open your eyes each morning, do you greet the day with a genuine smile? Or like many, do you groan as you pull yourself out of bed while dreading all the pressures that slowly take over your day?
There are tasks that need to be completed, places to go, work to be done and perhaps people needing your assistance. The choices you have made up until now come with these ongoing commitments, which in turn end up controlling your lifestyle.
Gary Vaynerchuks definition of happiness is “being able to do what you want at all times”. We seem to be chasing the next dollar, follower, subscriber or promotion at work yet how fulfilling is this? Happiness has a different meaning for each person, however without happiness there is always going to be an irregularity in your mental or physical health.
We’ve outlined five proven ways to change your perspective about common stressors and what you can do about it.
1. Stop doing things for attention
If you’re fuelled by the admiration of others instead of doing what genuinely sets your heart and soul on fire then it’s going to be a hard feeling to maintain. Whenever you are not receiving awards or praise you will fall into the trap of comparing the feeling you get from the admiration, which leads to depression. Start to think about your version of happiness minus the possessions and accolades, then plan your goals around that. Additionally, no more To-Do lists to please others. Make a “What will make today great” list instead.
2. Don’t let others control your decisions
Why do we constantly ask for validation or permission from those around us that don’t walk in our shoes? There is a deep fear of judgement if you do something other than the norm. Don’t do what your parents want you to do unless they have leverage on you (eg. put a roof over your head or pay for your lifestyle). Don’t let your friends or partner dictate what are the right choices for your needs. They love and care for you, but ultimately only you know what makes your heart sing. Throw yourself into the deep end and start swimming so that you can set up your version of a happy and successful lifestyle.
3. Work is not the boss of you
If you’re working but feeling unceasingly stressed out due to the responsibilities that come with that role, it’s simple, change your job. I know you’re saying “but this is my profession and I have bills to pay!”. Then reduce your hours and down grade your lifestyle. You don’t need to be cruising in a Mercedes on the verge of a heart attack when you could be driving in a Toyota with your sanity. However, if you choose to keep the job and those pressures then don’t complain about it. You always have a choice. In the end you will have those extra dollars but the stress will come knocking at your door in the form of diseases and force you to reconsider your health and wellness decisions.
4. Change your role in your relationship
If relationships have got you feeling stuck and unhappy, then it’s time to change because this no longer serves you. Remember that you are a human being. “Being” is to be in existence and if you are not growing in your relationship then you’re literally fading. You need to work on yourself to grow as an individual emotionally and spiritually. Don’t expect your partner, friends or family to join you in this growth but do include them in open communication. Sometimes, all that is needed is a change in your role within a relationship rather than walking away from it. You deserve to feel love the way you want to be loved. The discipline you use to evolve helps you to stay on track with relationships, work and life goals in the pursuit to ultimate happiness.
5. Stop feeding your ego
How many Instagrammers do you see looking happy and living their best life? No one knows what a person feels until they are vulnerable enough to open up and share it. People have come to see these social media posts as the easy life, something that they succumb to be included in. Yet so many have forgotten the notion of hard work, sacrifice and discipline to make their ambitions a reality, which in turn gives a true sense of happiness. It’s time to put down your phone and search for happiness for the soul rather than happiness for the ego. Disconnect in order to reconnect with yourself and your future.
Happiness is not a constant emotional state but an ongoing journey. As a society we really need to do better on redefining success and ensure that happiness is included in those metrics. Let’s be excited to live in a world where happiness and peace of mind is deemed as successful over money and trophies.