Have you ever wondered why the information that you’re gathering from your favorite authors, speakers, podcasters, and for that matter, from courses, workshops, programs, events aren’t resonating with you? Or, perhaps it resonates with you, and yet you can’t seem to translate the information into action.
What exactly is it that draws you to read or listen to something? Once, of course you get past all the great marketing spin and hype created around something. Oh, and don’t forget the feeling you have when you see or hear; “Well if THAT person thinks this [fill in the blanks] is so great, then it MUST be great.” Or, “Wow, what’s all the buzz about. I must know?” This ‘excitement’ is exactly why the Kardashians climbed to the top of their game – it was a calculated marketing campaign, and we bought it; hook, line and sinker.
I often wonder when it was that we started to become brainwashed and manipulated by the smoke and mirrors of the hype machine. It must have happened when we started to care what our peers thought of us. When peer pressure mattered. I’m not Teflon. I’ve found myself getting sucked into the vortex too.
We’re all vying for the same attention. We all need something from someone – or many thousands of someone’s.
But I digress.
The purpose of this post is to highlight why it is that we hear all of this great advice and sign up for so many things to inevitably (for most) stay where we are – or worse, fall back? I understand.
We’re hoping, maybe even praying that some magic elixir is going to somehow wash over us and move us into action. Has it happened for you yet? Have you made a move into action based on what you’ve heard or learned? If yes, fabulous!
Truth be told, the information we’re gathering isn’t all that earth shattering. Basically, we get the gist. I think we’re all secretly hoping that someone will do the actual work for us. Hey, I bank my livelihood on it – however, and it’s a BIG however, you first need to actually WANT to create something for yourself. You need to actually WANT to show up to the party, rather than rip up the invitation.
And there lies the challenge. Most of us are not showing up in our lives. We’re hearing all about it, but we’re not stepping into and experiencing what could be.
Since the beginning of time we, as human beings have been trying to discover our purpose. Why, in fact we’re on this planet. What are we supposed to be doing? And if that’s not hard enough, depending upon how we’ve been raised, and what we’ve modelled as children can either help or hinder our decisions, and play a role in how we feel about ourselves.
Understandably we’re looking for a playbook. But it’s really not out there. One person’s idea of how to lead their life isn’t necessarily, and often not, a great way for us to roll. There are so many factors that make up a person’s journey. We’ve just got to create our own. No one, and I mean no one has it all figured out. If it appears that they do, then it’s an illusion.
Think about it ….
Even Houdini expected us to believe what he did was all magic, when in fact it was an illusion. He created the magic for us. He figured out a way to wow us. And he did!
Which brings me to the point where I’d like to suggest why you may be stuck. Why it is that what you’re gathering is not sticking. More importantly what exactly are you looking for?
Five Reason’s Why It’s Not Sticking:
- Conditions and Circumstances: We put a lot of emphasis on our life conditions and circumstances. For example; If our current life conditions don’t match our expectations, then we feel trapped. We’re not sure what to do next, so we start to look around to see who can help us before we even know what it is that we’re looking for. Based on the work that positive psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky has done, did you know that only a 10% variance in happiness is determined by our life circumstances? That’s it! Which brings me to our ….
- State of Mind: Our actions, attitude and the way we handle situations is in our control. If our state of mind reflects feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, then it’s a difficult mindset to push beyond unless we’re willing to make changes. The reason why information is not sticking is because we’re coming from a defeated place. It’s difficult, almost impossible to make changes when we’re in that state of mind. Things need to shift, and they are under our control.
- The Stories We Believe: The stories that we tell ourselves every second of every day drives our feelings and decisions. It determines whether we plan to take action or stay where we are. Who created these stories in the first place? We did. From what we hear. It’s like when you receive lots of positive feedback and just one negative response, we tend to then dwell on that one piece of negative feedback. Ultimately, we then think; “Well, I’m no good.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “I’m a failure.” The stories we manufacture – manufactured based on our perspective can be changed. We’re just one decision away from changing the narrative.
- Physiology: Believe it or not how we carry ourselves, how we move, is directly related to how we feel or how we could be feeling. When we change our physiology, we can change our mood. We can change our way of being. We can enhance our emotional well-being. Try it. Stand tall, shoulders back, chest open. Take a deep breath in. Now, let’s add a power pose. Do the same thing but put your hands on your waist. Hey if Superman and Wonder Woman felt empowered by this one move, so can we.
- Confidence: We have the choice to believe in ourselves or not. If you’ve continually felt defeated or lack confidence, and have low self-esteem ask yourself; “How’s that working out for me?” It may feel as if it’s keeping you ‘safe’ and by that, I mean it’s the decision to keep doing what you’re doing, OR you can start by doing the opposite. Start by writing a list of all the things that scare you, whatever that is. Perhaps it’s dealing with an issue, taking action toward something you want, asking for something. Whatever it is that is holding you back, now is the time to fight through the fear and be bold.
Until you identify these 5 areas that are holding you back and keeping you stuck, you will continue to read and gather great information, hear inspiring messages, and attend and listen to motivational and action forward thinking without taking the next steps for yourself.
This is an old saying and yet it’s still relevant; Life (truly) is not a spectator sport, and yet why do we keep finding ourselves watching and following others, when we could be striving to carve out our own path?
Get out of the spectator seats and into the game, before it’s over.