Outside of carrying your daughter for nine months, there are many other reasons why a mother-daughter bond can be so tight. I listed five reasons below that resonate with me as I reflect on the unique relationship I had with my Mom.
1. She understood me – My mom was a good sounding board because I felt like she understood me without me having to fully explain my situation. She anticipated my needs. I remember I had surgery once and my mom came out to stay with me. It was so nice because she did the grocery shopping, cooked, cleaned, and did the laundry without me having to ask. She anticipated my needs. It took the stress away, and allowed me the peaceful space I needed to heal. It was wonderful.
2. Strong bond – I always knew my Mom had my back, no matter what. She may have been disappointed in something I did or said, and she had no problem letting me know, but despite her disappointment, I always knew that she loved me and that she would see me through whatever situation I found myself in.
3. Diehard nurturer – My Mom always made sure my brother and I had everything we needed in order to be successful in life. We had the right mix of love and discipline, food, clothes, shelter, and protection. I felt safe knowing that my mother was near.
4. Friendship – When I think of a true friend, I think of my Mom. She embodied the meaning of true friendship. We always maintained healthy boundaries, and I always knew that she was my Mom first, but there were those underlying qualities of friendship that I could always count on like, trustworthiness, dependability, non-judgement, and support. She also taught me how to be a friend.
5. Love and family matters – My Mom was the first one to show me how to love. She loved me unconditionally. That love translated into my love for God and my family. I am now a mother and I understand how deep the love for a child runs.
Research shows the relationship between a mother and her daughter is the strongest parent-child bond, partly because of the similar ways our brains process emotion. Mother and daughter relationships beat out other intergenerational pairings, such as mothers and sons, fathers and daughters, or fathers and sons in the empathy department as well, due to brain chemistry. I guess our brains are just wired that way.