When someone seems to be ‘better’ than you, do you find yourself shrinking and feeling insecure? Do you notice that you give the other person so much power because he/she seems to know more than you?

In this digital age, it’s so easy to compare and contrast. It’s easy to see all of the amazing things that are happening for other people, thanks to the power of the Internet. It’s also easy to forget the other side that’s not so happy and amazing. Selena Gomez’s Instagram post hit it home when she said, ‘Trust me, my life isn’t always this filtered and flowery… We are all on our own journey.’

When you place someone above you, you give them your power. It can create feelings of inadequacynot feeling enough, and perhaps fear that you will never be enough.

Here are 5 top tips to put yourself first:

  1. Take the pressure off yourself by doing things that you love. Focus on doing the things that you love that genuinely make you happy. Note: these are things that you do to make yourself (and no one else) happy. There also doesn’t need to be a result. I have to admit that this was challenging for me, as I’m so used to achieving which was engrained into me growing up as a child.

What are your interests and hobbies? How would you spend your time if you could do anything that you wanted? What would you do if time and/or money were not an issue?

2. Remind yourself of own your values. What are the qualities/values that you admire in the other person? The qualities that we see in others are ones that we actually have within ourselves. Take a quick moment to write down the qualities that you love about yourself. The other person is simply a mirror for you to recognize your own greatness.

What can you let go of that is no longer serving you?

Inspirational quote by Lao Tzu at the Hotwire SF office.

3. Celebrate your success. Remind yourself about your previous wins and remember that everyone is uniquely special in their own way. If Social Media is clouding your head and making you doubt how special you are, take a break from it or unfollow people.

Facebook HQ

Or take some time away from your phone and your notifications so that you don’t have to feel like you are always ‘on call.’

4. Pattern interrupt. Reflect on the pattern of what you tell yourself when you meet someone who is smarter, prettier, richer than you, etc.

What story are you telling yourself when this happens?

If it’s the story of how you aren’t smart enough, how can you change that story so that it serves you? Remind yourself of all the times that you found solutions to problems.

How can you break this pattern? How about taking a walk, talking to a friend or writing it down?

5. What are you currently reading? How can what you read affect your thoughts and behaviours? According to this article, researchers found that reading can reduce stress by 68%.

Two books that I have been reading have helped me massively:

Rise Sister Rise, Rebecca Campbell. Thanks Pegah for the recommendation!

Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention, Tris Thorp

What top tips have worked for you? I’d love to hear from you!


  • Carolyn Lowe

    Brand Marketer | Storyteller | Connector

    Carolyn Consulting

    Carolyn is passionate about all things related to health and wellness.  She is a proactive and results driven leader with a track record of integrating authentic, cross-platform marketing experiences for startups, small and medium-sized businesses (SMEs), and global enterprises. Carolyn is also a Career/Mindset coach specializing in NLP.  She helps clients remove the charge on limiting emotions and beliefs to create new possibilities. With her experience in advertising and tech, she can relate and empathize with her clients' challenges to find empowering solutions. Carolyn writes about leadership, women in tech and health/wellness.