For many, divorce can be a devastating experience. People enter a marriage with the expectation of being together forever. To quote a portion of the most common traditional wedding vows, marriage is expected to last “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” But, what happens when a marriage ends in divorce? How do you pick up the pieces and heal on a path towards happiness?
In my experience as a divorce lawyer based in Bergen County, New Jersey, and Monmouth County, New Jersey, I have seen many clients find happiness after a divorce. Here are five ways I have observed my own clients navigating their journeys with a determination to find joy following divorce:
KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOURSELF
Your mental health and overall well-being – as well as that of your children – needs to remain your paramount priority. Make sure to be gentle with yourself and understand this is a difficult time. Eat nourishing foods, move your body, and take care of your mind and soul. Understand that this too shall pass.
FIND A SUPPORT SYSTEM
Divorces can be difficult, and it is important to be surrounded by those who understand and empathize with your current situation. Lean on your support system for sound advice and a shoulder to cry on.
DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE
It can be easy to lose your individual identity during a marriage. Right after a divorce is a great time to find your gifts, explore your passions, and get to know who you really are.
SET YOUR GOALS
Acknowledge the opportunity that comes with a new beginning and go after something you really want in life. I have witnessed my clients launch a podcast, start a candle business, and find new ways to volunteer thereby creating new meaning in their lives. By setting a goal – whether it be personal, professional, or otherwise – and establishing a timeline to reach that goal, you will be able to channel your energy and focus into something positive.
DON’T LOOK BACK
Keep moving forward and embrace new beginnings. In other words, focus on the windshield and not the rearview mirror! The clients I have watched find joy after divorce have clearly recognized (even if it might take some time to do so) that this is their opportunity to fully embrace starting over, finding themselves, and cultivating their ideas/gifts/talents.. They don’t spend a prolonged period of time wallowing in the fallout from their divorce. Through incorporating the tips mentioned in this article, they have all realized that there’s purpose behind their pain.
This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.