Dating and meeting new people is not the easiest nor most appropriate thing to do during a global pandemic, but this can still be a time where you create new opportunities for your existing and future relationships.
Being single during a pandemic can mean a lot of quality time with yourself, which creates a unique opportunity to look inward, reflect on your relationship patterns, learn new things about yourself and adjust on old and dysfunctional behaviors.
Here are five ways to boost your love life right now, even if you’re not around other people right now.
1. Improve the relationship with yourself
How well you treat yourself will set the bar for all of your other relationships. If quarantine means a lot of quality time with you, that gives you an opportunity to get to know yourself better and practice self kindness and self curiosity.
Ask yourself everyday how you feel and what you need today. Listen to your answer with the same compassion that you would if you were listening to someone else you were in charge of taking care of.
Do small acts of kindness towards yourself – the more warmth you can give to yourself, the more love, kindness and care you will be able to receive from others.
2. Find your confidence
A lot of people ask the question “why would anyone want to be with me?” in a conceded way, but it’s a brilliant question and you need to be able to answer it.
If you ask the question genuinely and make a point to answer it you will find amazing things, including hope and self confidence. Dive deep into yourself and find out what the most amazing things about being with you are. What makes it a privilege to get to go on a date with you? What are the best things about being in a relationship with you?
3. Reflect on why you want a relationship
Take some time to reflect on why you want to be in a relationship. “All of my friends are coupled up” is a bad reason – that probably just means you need more single friends!
Think about what is important for you in a relationship. What qualities do you want in a partner? When do you feel loved? What do you want to spend time on with a significant other? What turns you on? What kind of behaviors do you think are important or inappropriate in a relationship?
Knowing these things makes it much easier to find someone like that to share those feelings and experiences with.
4. Plan and create the life you want to share
A period of social distancing gives you the space to reflect on how you want to life and what is important in life. When everything is changing things usually become clearer and you might feel a stronger connection with your longings and also realize what was, in fact, not as important as you previously thought. Make it clear to yourself what you want more and less of in your life.
Spend the time you would have otherwise spent on dating, or a relationship, on planning and creating the life you want to share with someone.
5. Get skilled!
Most dating problems stem from a lack of knowledge about what creates healthy relationships. Use the time in quarantine to learn more about dating psychology and attachment styles from experts, researchers and coaches – not from equally clueless friends!
Read a book by relationship researcher John Gottman, listen to a podcast with couples therapist Esther Perel or find a dating coach you like and trust to learn from.
This might not be the most social period in your life, but you can still use the time in quarantine to increase your knowledge and understanding of dating psychology, relationship how-to and emotional connection practices, so that when the world opens up again, your are ready.