Can I keep my introverted personality in an increasingly outwardly bustling world? As an introvert, this question often keeps me awake at night.
Lone Eagles, soaring in the clouds, fly with silent, peaceful poise, While turkeys, in their earth bound crowds, fill the atmosphere with noise. ~William Arthur Ward
I looked around me and saw extroverts everywhere: YouTube, agencies, on stage, extroverts doing sales, employees at my favorite cafe. The fact that extroverted culture sometimes makes it difficult to be true to your nature. I, like you, and after a long time trying many methods to solve this problem of myself, I have learned the following 5 lessons:
1. Accept that much of the acclaimed media advice is not for you
Many of the widely acclaimed advice today promote the “Be so loud they can’t ignore you.” This advice may be true if you have the character and energeticness of American entrepreneur, speaker Gary Vaynerchuk or billionaire Tony Robbins. If you’re an introvert, forcing yourself to actively approach others can be a nightmare. What’s worse is that when you follow that advice and everything seems to go smoothly, you will tie yourself into the duty of “having” a friendly, affable with others 24/7.
The famous advice was inspired by the “ideal extrovert” model in “Quiet” by American author Susan Cain. In this book, the author points out the difference between the qualities we promote today and in the past: “Perfecting yourself in the old days towards hard work, diligence and thoughtfulness. And now the qualities that are promoted are attractive, charismatic and flashy.”
The majority of publications published today address the latter. Why are they famous? Because they are true of the extrovert. So the extroverts talk more about them.
And you still quietly and think “something is wrong …”. It is not true, at least for you, an introvert.
2. Give yourself a busy schedule
You may wonder: Why do introverts want a busy schedule?
The answer is so you don’t get caught in these situations: You are helpless at the party because your best friend allowed you to climb the tree, you don’t know how many more minutes you should stay to not be judged Is that rude ?!
When your schedule is full of appointments, you can say, “I’m sorry. I made an appointment to come back and pick up my new relative far away.” If you were at work, you could say, “2 PM is the shift time, I can only be there that much.”
Of course, your scheduled appointments do not necessarily have to be in the presence of others.
I often keep my schedule tight with appointments on my own. Other people just know that I need to go somewhere. It is true. I need to be alone, organize my thoughts in order to appear with a fresh state.
3. Start your day an hour earlier than someone else
One of the keys to introverts becoming successful is to avoid crowded situations. Long queues at the coffee shop or lift lifts are not for you. You need personal time and space to allow your brain to sink into a sense of stillness. Comfortable and quiet, you will not have to listen to what the gossip is today, and for a few days, the week will end …
Arrange your schedule so you can immerse yourself in your work before many people distract you. When other people show up, they will notice that you are already busy with work so they won’t bother you anymore.
4. Talk to at least one person a day
Loneliness is an introverted disease very often.
You should practice how to start a conversation. Let’s talk to any stranger: “Oh, today … huh?” They will agree with you and ask you another question. Talk to them for as long as possible.
There is a big difference between being introverted and unable to communicate normally with others. Your mind and your emotions need a companion. Do not always cower.
5. Attend meetings in the afternoon
Of course, you like to work alone, but the truth is that most jobs require the cooperation and participation of many people.
Unable to predict when other people will be involved in your work so you need to protect your schedule as much as possible. When I was in the middle of publishing a book, making a series of videos, I would spend the time between 7 am and noon to do personal work. This helps me charge my energy to enter afternoon meetings with the most cooperative attitude.
I’m an introvert, I’m fine with that.
Forcing yourself to act like extroverts is a wrong choice. Don’t try to change your nature, don’t try to make a noise so no one can ignore you. Keep quiet so people can’t ignore you. This is neither wrong nor weird.
Starting today, you are allowed to fill the schedule with private periods, skip meetings, stay as long as you like. Do not be ashamed of who you truly are. Accept and exploit your introversion as quietly and as slowly as your personality.