If you are an unfortunate member of the “Dead Parent Club,” days you used to celebrate become days you now dread. Losing a parent is the worts thing ever. While my mother is still here, I go through it every single Father’s Day since my dad died. Social media, emails, store windows all constantly reminding me of the gifts I wish I could give him.
One of the things I do to (sort of) survive Father’s Day, is honor him in many personal ways. I reached out to some people I know whose moms have passed for ways they are honoring their mom this Mother’s Day.
1 – Dedicate the day to her with others who loved her.
“I get together with my siblings (there are three of us) and my dad, and we all still celebrate Mother’s Day. We go to her favorite restaurant, all order her favorite meal, and share stories. It makes me feel close to her still.”
– Lynn D.
2 – Do a special activity the two of you used to do together.
“My mom and I both love the outdoors and hiking. We used to hike this specific trail and stop and enjoy the view from the top where we would sit and talk for a long time before heading down. I hike that trail and I sit alone at the top, and write in my journal. I write memories I had with her and all the things I want her to know now.”
– Olivia B.
3 – Introduce her to your current loved ones.
“My boyfriend and his sister (my now best friend) never met my mom. I take them on a “day of my mom.” Their mom lives in England where Mother’s Day is a different day, so they are free to celebrate with me the whole day. We do all her favorite activities, I cook her favorite meal, and we watch her favorite movie. I share photos of her and memories. They are getting to know her even if she is no longer here, and this day (as well as her birthday) are dedicated to them “meeting” her.”
– Emily K.
4 – Be as good a mom as her.
“I’m a mom now, and my daughter was 3 when my mom passed. She’s 6 now, but still remembers her. They were close. I remember some of the favorite things she did with me when I was little and then do them with my daughter. I tell her about the times I did that with Grandma. We used to make really fun cupcakes decorated with all sorts of colorful candy. She would take me to the candy store and I would pick out all the pieces. That is what we are doing this year.”
– Mia L.
5 – Make physical memories.
“My mom was a big scrap booker. The old-fashioned kind where she made all these physical (not digital) scrapbooks of memories. She started in junior high-school and was pretty dedicated. I go through them every Mother’s Day with my brother. While I am not a big scrapbooker, we add a page or two every Mothers Day by printing photos we take that day, writing and then printing recipes we made, or receipts if we go to a restaurant.”
– Becca E.
There is no right way or magical solution to get you through the bad days of grief. Take care of yourself however you need to.
by Elizabeth Entin – WTF Just Happened?!
#grief #mothersday #survivingmothersday #mothersdayafterlosingmom