First comes Love, then comes the marriage and then there comes the happily ever after. It might seems like a fairytale ending to many couples. But do they really exist??
Love is the most beautiful emotion to a human being and this gets triumph when the happy couple ties the holy knot of matrimony. Many people think a marriage is only successful if it is with the right person. Hence automatically when the things are going wrong, they go to the “oh crap, I married the wrong person” phase. The couple starts feeling dumbfounded when their fairytale beginning of love starts slipping away in front of them.
But that’s not quite right. In fact, marriage has a lot less to do with the right or wrong person than it is to do the right things with the person you love and marrying. Every couple faces some ups and downs in a relationship but it is a constant work in progress. While it also signals a healthy relationship, it can also discourage you. So to keep the happy connection that made you say “I do” at the first place sustained, try out these following tips to spice up the romance in your married life.
Nurture yourself and re-evaluate the reasons why you first started it:
Begin the flashbacks and ask yourself: what drew me to this person, to begin with? What makes you take all those wedding vows at the altar at first? Remind yourself the qualities of your partner that you have fallen in love with at the first place. Reevaluating the reasons that brought you both together reminds you of the reasons to stay together and this can strengthen your struggling foundation of a relationship.
We understand marriage require a lot of giving but it should not be one-sided. For a marriage to have a happy ending, you need to be a good you. Learn to prioritize and make boundaries around the activities that help you to keep yourself healthy and whole. In simple words, escape some “me” time from your marriage schedules. It can be in the form of a lounge outing with friends or maybe joining a hobby class. This way you’ll have a more balanced version of yourself that help you to take from “me” to “us” equation.
Communicate and Discussion the problems:
Spend some time with yourself before concluding anything. Sit and think about your marriage and analyze which parts work and which don’t. Draft what according to you would be the perfect day in your perfect married life. And then start breaking the issues into bite-sized pieces and tackle one at a time. Discuss the issues with your partner and before you know it, you’ll leave with only a bite-sized problem.
Set up a financial plan together:
Money can be the biggest aggravation to a marriage. We have heard many couples fighting over the money issues and crossing the bottom line over it. So if you also find you and your spouse fight over these money matters for getting the mortgage, then surely it’s a time to put on some efforts. Sit with your partners and make a plan of managing the money. Do you want to combine all the income or separate it? Whatever be the decision is, make sure you both agree upon that. This will be a good step towards understanding and you’ll keep your relationship humming this way.
Do something special together:
There might be some restaurants that were once your favourite and you haven’t visited them for ages. Perhaps this is a good time to go and explore some of them or you can also go back to the place where you first fell in love. Being in a space where you have strong memories of your togetherness will reignite your passion. Travelling is also a good therapy for a shattered marriage and also a good chance to experience something new together. It doesn’t have to be expensive every time, you can simply hire a minibus and go to a favourite place of yours with your partner. Sometimes sitting on a park bench watching the children play the games while holding hands can be magical if love exists. The important thing is to spend some time together and reconnect together.
Forgive each other:
To forgive is to mean detaching from unwanted sorrow, bitterness and anger that are nothing but would harm your happy married life. These negative emotions will only keep you from your love. Learn to forget things and remind yourself whatever happened, happened; there is no good reason to drag the things from past. Forgiveness doesn’t require much, just a sweet message along with a beautiful flower bouquet would do the task for you.
Though it is suggested that one should never remain in a relationship that only jeopardizes your well-being, but every relationship demands your earnest efforts to get through a bad phase. Not giving up on your love and trying to make things work are honourable tasks to do. Use these seven ways to save your struggling marriage and reap the benefits of a happy bond of love.