Thinking about what you want to achieve in the new year? How about what you need to ditch?

Creating what you want depends on first getting rid of what you don’t want. It’s how you free up space and energy for the good stuff to come in.

With that in mind, here are 6 things you can ditch to make space for all that 2019 amazing-ness:

  1. Believing that value comes from what you do, not who you are

When you meet someone new, one of the first questions is, “What do you do?” And you usually answer with a title… marketer, doctor, technician, homemaker…

That’s not who you are. Job titles comes and go. Your value is the core of what makes you, you. It comes from within. If you are strong within, you are Superman out there.

When you believe you only create value through what you do, without first understanding what you’re meant to do, you deprive yourself and the world of the amazing person you are.

Know your purpose. What gives you passion is your purpose. Do the inner work. Ask yourself, “Who am I without my title?”

  1. Looking for approval or acceptance outside yourself

    Decide, once and for all, that you are enough. You are who you are and that really is ok. Accept your good and your not so good; your shadow and your light.

Oprah Winfrey says that everyone she’s ever interviewed, from Obama and Beyoncé, to criminals and former inmates, has asked the same questions: “How was that? Was that OK? How’d I do?”

It’s not wrong to check in and see if you can improve. Just don’t put all your weight on it. If what you put out there feels good to you, that’s what matters.

External acceptance is nice, but fleeting. Self acceptance is enduring and powerful.

  1. Striving for perfection

    Failure and recovery are fundamental to growth and development.

Celebrate mistakes. There is so much to learn from them! Celebrating mistakes strengthens your creativity and innovation. Failure opens new doors and, if you choose to see it as the stepping stone it is, motivates you to be braver in the future.

  1. Judgement and blame

Be the hero, not the victim, of your story.

You create your world through the choices you make. Know your impact and take responsibility.

Ask, “Where is victimhood showing up in my life?” Then choose to take responsibility for your reactions. Always ask what you can learn, how you want to show up, what you want to create.

We are quick to point the finger. What we really need is to take some of that blame for ourselves, so that we can improve.

  1. Beliefs that no longer serve you

Don’t let other people’s beliefs and fears become your own. Identify what is truly yours and cut anything holding you in a story of powerlessness.

Choose to consciously reprogram yourself. Take an honest look at your life. Are you living the life you want, or the one you think you’re supposed to have?

You know you’ve picked up patterns that don’t serve you (procrastination, worry, negative thoughts, self-sabotage, etc.). Why spend time with things that hold you back? Claim authorship for your life. Every moment is an opportunity to write or rewrite your story in a way that is nourishing and life affirming.

  1. The illusion that you need to do or have a lot of things to be fulfilled

When you try to create meaning by doing or having, you keep coming back to empty.

Seek fulfillment from within first. Get clear on your values and purpose, then align your life with that.

Do things that feed your core self. Hobbies, activities, work, even who you spend time with… when you choose them from a place of knowing your true self, rather than trying to “find yourself” through things, you build on what matters to you and cultivate a life that is rich with learning and self-discovery.

Are you ready to ditch the things holding you back in 2019? Remember, no matter what is happening around you, no matter what is in your past, no matter what other people are doing, saying or thinking… you are the only one who can truly take responsibility for where your life goes from here. Embrace it.


  • Melissa Dawn

    Founder of CEO of Your Life | Author | Speaker | Coach

    Melissa Dawn is the founder of CEO of Your Life. As a motivational speaker, coach, author, energetic healer and former VP Marketing, her approach is unconventional, inspirational, fun and holistic, guiding people and organizations to get from where they are to where they want to be. She is the international bestselling author of I Attract What I Am: Transform Failure into an Orgasmically Joyful Life and Business.