Are we aware of what we’re saying to ourself?

How do we become more aware of the voice within?

Reflecting and listening to my OWN voice has been a great gift — to slow down and be mindful of my inner voices. Often at times, these voices can be so hidden and harsh that it takes another person to make me realize that I need to be kinder to myself. It’s definitely a work in progress. As someone once said to me, ‘The first step is to just catch the voices…to just be aware.” That’s it.

As I started noticing my inner voices, I became aware of how much pressure I put on myself. I started hearing myself more. “There is not enough time for X and not enough time for Y.” When I tell myself that there isn’t enough time, it creates more stress and pressure for me to make things happen and control the outcome.

When I want to control, I am reminded by this sentiment from Gabby Bernstein’s new book, Super Attractor — “It’s good to feel good.”

When I want things to happen on my timeline, I find my inner voice tough, harsh and critical. I am reminded of the things that I haven’t done and achieved, instead of the things that I have accomplished. I compare and feel sad because of the things that I want and do not have, rather than focus my energy on the gratitude for the things that I do have. It’s an energy that’s based on fear instead of love — via Gabby Bernstein.

Here are 6 ways that I’ve shifted my inner critic:

  1. When my inner voices remind me of things that are fearful, I remind myself that “All I need is within me now” via Tony Robbins. I say to my inner self, “Thank you for sharing.”
  2. When I am unsure about a solution, I take a break to let go of the energy of uncertainty and having answers and instead, focus my energy on something productive or something that brings me joy — ie. exercising and cooking.
  3. When I catch myself being a perfectionist, I ask myself, “What is one thing that I can do today?”
  4. When I catch myself being overly critical, I shift my thoughts to something that I’ve done well and/or accomplished.
  5. When I catch myself saying “I should of …” and “I have to…,” I change the focus to “I am grateful for..” and “I get to…”
  6. Remembering to celebrate the small wins. For me, this is a calendar reminder at the end of my week (that often gets ignored, to be honest – though the intention is there!).

There are so many times that I go back to my inner critic, though I have to keep reminding myself to catch my thoughts and start again. It’s like a baby learning to walk; the baby will try to crawl/walk, fall, get back up and try again.

It’s important to keep reminding myself that every day is a new day to begin again. I am doing the best that I can in every single moment. This takes the pressure off so I can remind myself that I am human; I will fail, pick myself back up again to keep moving forward.


  • Carolyn Lowe

    Brand Marketer | Storyteller | Connector

    Carolyn Consulting

    Carolyn is passionate about all things related to health and wellness.  She is a proactive and results driven leader with a track record of integrating authentic, cross-platform marketing experiences for startups, small and medium-sized businesses (SMEs), and global enterprises. Carolyn is also a Career/Mindset coach specializing in NLP.  She helps clients remove the charge on limiting emotions and beliefs to create new possibilities. With her experience in advertising and tech, she can relate and empathize with her clients' challenges to find empowering solutions. Carolyn writes about leadership, women in tech and health/wellness.