Theresa, “Give them love, especially when they seem unlovable.” Tip 4
Theresa is a Mom from my old neighborhood. She made the most fantastic neighborhood French fries! Now over 80, she is retired, enjoying her four adult children, and the next generation.
With children range in age from 44 – 60+, Theresa has spent a great deal of her life parenting. She continues to cherish special quality time, and celebrates all their many successes.
Despite many decades of parenting, Theresa is somehow still able to love the unlovable, as she is promoting in her tips. In that, she’s highlighting the popular wisdom referenced the quote, “The children who are hardest to love are those who need it most.” She has noted the value of the very well-known phrase.
It is true, when the children seem to be the most challenging, they require additional love, understanding and support. At times, the demands of parenting and of life can cloud that fact. Hopefully, with this reminder, we can increase our own individual awareness.
I recall our move to Calgary. I had a new job working shift work, and was recently married. We had left all things familiar. Michael left family and friends, was moved to a new neighborhood, and started a new school.
Shortly thereafter, I came home from work and had noticed the toilet paper roll was pulled out of the wall. I was immediately concerned it may have been a show of aggression, frustration. Michael didn’t recall how it happened, which may or may not have been true. It could have been completely innocent, accidental. Regardless, that hole in the wall became a message to me.
My interpretation, correct or incorrect, was he need me to be more present. Fortunately, I was able to find a day job, and I became more present. I left my chosen career, of working with youth, and took an office job, enabling me to be available for Michael during the transition.
Listening is so important and kids tell us things in different ways. Sometimes, even if they aren’t talking, especially if they aren’t talking.
It’s up to us to explore reasons for their behavior, to help them better understand themselves and the world around them. It’s our job to do all we can to minimize, redirect and where possible eliminate confusion. I believe confusion can make a kid unlovable. Actually, it makes me unlovable.
When our children are unlovable, they need us most. As Theresa advises, “Give them love especially when they seem unlovable.” Their unlovable behavior is a message to us, as parents, to pay attention.
Thanks to Theresa for her dedication to parenting, for sharing her thoughts and for those delicious fries!