Photo by Patricia Ramaer

The new year is just around the corner. This is when most people tend to start thinking about new ways of improving themselves and writing out resolutions of how to better their lives for 2018.

New year, new you? That’s the kind of advertising that influences us year after year.

Well, I can tell you that you don’t need to start from the beginning. Perhaps you’d rather make some small, realistic improvements (to your already incredible self). So that the New You is just the Old You but more knowledgeable, with better habits.

To start, it’s important to take a look back on your life over the last twelve months in a small act of self-reflection. Self-improvement is the greatest gift you can do for yourself for the New Year.

Here, I’ve rounded up the most important life lessons that I’ve learned over the last twelve months from making some minor changes in my life!

I removed toxic relationships from my life

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do this year is to let go of friendships. People who suck the goodness and positivity out of you with their negativity, complaints, gossip, selfishness can be detrimental to your own personal well-being.

This year, I decided to give more time and love to only those who mattered most and stopped caring so much what others thought of me.

I considered two scenarios, if a) you don’t support me or b) you don’t inspire me then I am not going to devote my all to you. Although it is difficult going through this process. It was like lifting a massive weight off my shoulders as I wasn’t trying to please everyone, but I solely focused on the people who truly matter.

This has had the most incredible effect on both me and my business. I’ve stopped second guessing myself and I have more confidence than ever before…

Why? Because I no longer lead with…”What will they think” or “What will they say”.

The questions I now ask are…

“Is this kind? Is this helpful? Am I being fair to myself as well as others?”….if it’s a yes then it’s a goer and I promise when you try this, things will begin to change for the better immediately.

I started to say no

When you are starting up a new business, it is all too easy to get into the pattern of saying yes to everyone and everything as you don’t want to miss out on a single opportunity.

The act of simply saying ‘NO’ this year for me was empowering. It gave me so much more control over my schedule. I only said yes to things that I was passionate about and I could give my 100% to. I stopped saying yes to things that would make me feel bogged down or because I felt bad or even just for the sake of it!

Once I got into this new concept of saying no, I realised that my self-worth grew. I had more time with my friends and family as I wasn’t spreading myself so thin and many more incredible opportunities began to come my way for paid work. Those opportunities came to me through the power of simply saying no so I could keep my focus and prevent myself from running around like a headless chicken.

I began to treat my time like gold

My work as a coach, business owner, author and spokesperson means that my day consists of a carefully scheduled plan of appointments and follow-ups. This year, I actually really started to appreciate the importance of my time. I put a value on my time and I made sure that I lived up to it. Instead of charging by the hour for my head and heart space I began to look at the actual result I was able to create for my client and priced my investments accordingly.

Truth is, you can’t break down into an hourly fee for your creativity, expertise, commitment or the value of your involvement in another’s life. I’d encourage you to take a look at your personal price points and then add vat! Let me tell you queen… you are worth it!

I learned that it was OK to fail

I have come to realise that to fail is OK. If anything to fail is an opportunity, as it is a chance to learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

Although, failing can hurt. It can make you feel incompetent/worthless/not good enough and make you want to give up. There will be many that will kick you when your down – it’s how you react to failure that your true self will shine. As you will never feel the taste of sweet success if you have never felt that painful sting of failure. Take it from JK Rowling who I quoted in my last post!

I loved bigger, harder and more genuinely

Good time management and a good team of people who support me was a true blessing in 2017. It allowed me to really find the time to connect with my family and friends and devote myself fully outside of work.

I practised self-care and gratitude and became in alignment with my spirituality.

I scheduled time out of each day to meditate and made sure I had that time to feel mindful. I began to really practice gratitude daily. I also began practising the mindset that for all that comes in something must go out. This was the most liberating thing for me as I realised that the smallest act of kindness can really help and inspire so many.

Dropped a day of work!

This was a biggie for me. I am so used to working that if you asked me to drop a day of work this time last year, I would have found it laughable. Now, I have re-prioritised what actually matters in my life and work exhaustion is no joke as I mentioned in this post about Arianna Huffington’s experience. Making sure I have a good day of rest has made all the difference to making my personal/work life feel so much more balanced.

I also schedule in all of my children’s school outings, fayres, classes out with school, any family events and my non-negotiable time! This means time to meditate, practice gratitude, eat well and write in my journal. After that my diary opens up for team time, client calls, design work etc.

This way the feelings of guilt related to being a working mum is diminished as I’m able to strike some balance, I also never feel like I’m missing out and can show up as my strongest, focused and most creative self at all times to serve my community and clients. My goal is to drop another day next year…eek…let’s see how that goes!

I hope you take this advice and use it to your advantage because you are all QUEENS and you can do anything you set your mind to in 2018! I want to see your greatness… I will be watching…(said in the least creepy way possible lol)

(If this has spoken to you and you need help identifying some areas of possible change and growth in 2018 and beyond, maybe you need to reflect over the last 12 months and make sure that your year to come is going to be filled with abundance, happiness, love, light and major up levelling. Sound good? Then join us for my 5 DAY LIFE AUDIT CHALLENGE where I will help you do just that! Happy auditing my queen).

Originally published at