Today I want you to breath iiin…breathe ouuuut… and shed off all the mess. That little monster that has been killing you softly from within must come out today.

I know you are not alone.

If you haven’t gone through it all, then keep reading and learn from what others have undergone.

And if you are a man reading this, you might want to share to women in your life.

Last week I met my childhood best friend and we had a lengthy talk. To be sincere, I have always known Stacy to be a charming and hardworking lady. Even from her appearance, she seemed happy and I knew she must be doing well.

While her smile was always infectious, I knew that deep down her heart something wasn’t right. With all the hurdles of life, she still fought to get what money could buy. But there was one problem. She couldn’t buy happiness with her money no matter how much she tried.

It wasn’t because she had an evil character or personality. It was the men in her life.

As plain as it sounds…

Yes, let’s assume she had just started kissing several frogs and her prince charming was somewhere.

But she is married.

She is married for heaven’s sake!

She has a beautiful daughter though her husband is not the birth father.

That is one reason why she is having problems. Her husband feels it is a favor to marry her with a child and father a girl who doesn’t have a section of his blood.

The other reason is that her ex-boyfriend is bothering her as he is the biological father.

As if that is not enough, the other problem is that she is the financial controller and provider of everything including her husband’s family.

That is a bother too.

She has to please them because they might start murmuring and remember she came with a baby.

What the hell!

I wanted to have a woman to woman talk with her after getting many of her calls whereby she complained about her ex-boyfriend, marriage issues and the stepfather to her daughter.

“How is life?” I asked

“Life is good I am doing well. Just bought another Mercedes Benz yesterday but Chris is taking care of it.”, she answered.

Remember she came driving a Prado. That means she was doing well. Her business was thriving and money wasn’t a problem. We had a long talk and I learned a lot from her story.

I later realized that most ladies suffer out silently in relationships or marriage to keep their men. It’s kind of a “pick me up” thing. You do crazy things to make him stick to you.

While it may be okay to take care of your relationship and work things out, some problems can be so stressing and we have to call it a quit.

Let me explain.

After the talk with Stacy, I decided to do a case study to see if there were are other women suffering out there. I later met a post that had more than 900 comments of ladies venting about what they go through.

Trust me it was so emotional. While I may not share the post here due to privacy, I know those are just a few who represent what many go through.

From the comments, I learned that many ladies make the following mistakes in the name of love and end up regretting:

· Tolerating unfaithful partner

Love can be a beautiful thing. But romance is bittersweet. You love a man, and then later he starts seeing other women if not one. You catch him cheating on you, but still stick to him because he promised to change.

Since you are desperate with love, you think that he is the only prince charming. He even blames you for his infidelity and you accept the blame to keep him. He says it is you who stressed him out and you still tell him sorry… OMG! My friend, what is wrong with you?

· Faking pregnancy

You just realized that he started showing interest in other women and you decide to fake pregnancy so that he can quickly marry you or leave those ladies. There is a lady who was thoroughly beaten by her boyfriend when he found out that she wasn’t pregnant as she had insisted. Dear ladies. Who bewitched us? Open your eyes beautiful.

· Fighting with other women

There is this woman who keeps commenting on your boyfriend’s Facebook photos on how sweet he looks. You later realize that they are dating. You then catch him up with other women. You fight those you can reach and abuse those you can’t reach. Please, my sister, deal with the source.

· Giving your all including money and money account password

Now, this is the worst. This one eats up my head and pinches my intestines. It is not that I am against helping your man. Of course, there are good men out there who have always stood up with you.

You can reward them with the best thing you can. But there are those men who don’t want to give out their cash just because they saw you with a good job or money.

Some even turn out to be almost conmen as they keep borrowing and borrowing even when they don’t need it just to empty your accounts.

Be careful.

Never give out your passwords unless in critical conditions but not out of love. They will steal your money oooh… I saw a lady complaining after giving out her money to a mother in law who never was.

· Putting off other suitors by lying to them you are married (even some wear fake rings)

I know you are in love and fully booked. He is your prince charming. But stop that behaviour of pissing off men who try to talk to you. Some are not even interested in you but are trying to get close to your friend.

Please be kind to them, your boyfriend might backfire, and you end up like an old woman with no suitor. I am sorry to say that.

· Withstanding domestic violence

I have witnessed many girls in campus being beaten by their boyfriends out of stupid reasons and still stick to them. If he hits you now, what about when you become his wife? Wake up dear girl.

· Quitting education or a job

Love. Love. Love. Does it have to make us crazy? I have witnessed ladies, especially in campus quit school just because they found out a man who could provide everything.

Leave the high school girls who drop out of school. I am not talking about them because they are still immature. I am talking about ladies who quit their jobs or college just because prince charming knocked their doors. Think about it.

· Accepting a wrong guy with the mentality that you will change him

Many have fallen into this trap. It has worked for a few. Many have regretted. They end up saying that they were warned.

· Forcing him to take you to his home

It’s now three years since you started dating. He hasn’t said anything about his family or shown interest in coming to your home. To be on the safe side, you try to force him to take you to his home. Please stop that. You are too good to be desperate.

You end up getting a heart-break and the worst treatment ever because you acted desperate. Please wake up. You are worth more than a man could offer. You deserve the best. If he isn’t treating you right, please take time and think about it. Is that how you want to live for the rest of your life?

I know most of you have gone through this.  Sorry if it sounded a bit harsh.

 Let’s kick off ignorance and know our worth.