We have a lot of emotions for others, but sometimes it’s hard to love ourselves. This could be due to past traumas or bad experiences which can create emotional wounds or low self-esteem. Or it could have to do with social comparison, which is extremely prevalent particularly related to social media, societal expectations, and the need for external validation. We tend to crave approval from other people to feel good about ourselves.
In order to learn self-love, we have to be vulnerable, which can be challenging for many people. It has to do with overcoming our fear of rejection, where we put up walls to protect ourselves. We also might be uncomfortable with self-love because we are unfamiliar with it or find it awkward.
Additionally, it may involve the feeling that love is conditional, particularly if we grew up in certain environments where we received love and affection based on conditions or outcomes. We could also be dealing with negative internal talk or inner criticism going on which makes us feel bad about ourselves.
No matter what the case is, it’s important that we learn to love ourselves as much as we do others. Here are some easy ways that you can do so:
- Surround yourself with positive influences. These positive people will set a good example and show you how they care for themselves, lifting you up and pointing out all of your good qualities, which will inspire you to do the same.
- Be compassionate with yourself. Don’t hold yourself to some impossibly high standard that no one can achieve. Never berate yourself when you take a misstep and remember that everyone does. No one is without fault.
- Realize your own worth. Everyone has unique talents and skills. Celebrate and embrace those things that make you special and allow you to stand out in the crowd. You are a valuable, talented person. Tell yourself when you need to.
- Embrace gratitude. Many of us focus on the things that go wrong instead of realizing all of the things that are going right. Don’t forget to be grateful and focus on the things that you have.
- Lean into self-care. It’s crucial to take care of yourself and do those things that make you happy and healthy.
- Forgive yourself. When you make a mistake, remember that it is okay and perfectly normal. We are learning all the time, and making mistakes is part of the process. Let yourself off the hook when you need to.
- Celebrate things that go well. We have little wins throughout the day. The more that we embrace and honor them, the more likely we will be to notice them as they happen.
- Set healthy boundaries with others. Learning to put yourself first often involves setting healthy boundaries. Get comfortable learning to say no, and keep going after what you want. No one else is going to do it for you.
- Self-reflection. Take time out of your day, every day, to self-reflect and take note of the good things in your life and how you are improving all the time. This activity is a vital aspect of self-love.
It’s not always easy or intuitive but learning to love yourself will have an enormous impact on the quality of your life and your relationship with others. So, give it the attention it deserves.