Imagine being able to walk into a room full of people, ready to meet and mingle with each person.

Imagine enjoying yourself as you interact with each of them.

Imagine making new friends, by just being yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, socialization is a skill! And like every skill it needs to be honed and practiced in order to master it.

It has more to with your instincts and your vibe than the words you speak. In other words, it’s all about having the right mindset

So let’s start the reason behind your fear or your nervousness or why you hold back; You believe you need to say or do something to make people like you! You’re focussed on the outcome of socialization before the ‘socializing’ begins.

The problem with that approach is that you end up putting UNDUE pressure on yourself, thinking about the ‘perfect’ thing to say to make people like you or appreciate you, the moment you meet them, that you often end up with ‘your foot in your mouth’ or embarrassing yourself.

How much someone can like you or appreciate you depends on how likable, happy, and appreciative you are, when meeting and talking with the person in question. And that is the mindset you need to succeed.

So, keep it simple.

Socialization is meeting new people and building relationships. It’s like that first day of school all over again, except you’re not 4 or 5 years old. You are an adult, responsible for yourself and the decisions you make in your life, with a circle of family and friends who love and trust you. So when you meet someone, be curious (not intrusive) about the individual, show that you care by listening and responding, and enjoy your conversation.

Here’s how you do it, one step at a time;

1. Smile

2. Look people in the eye and introduce yourself.

3. Wait for them to respond (check their level of interest – are they enthusiastic, bored, laid back, etc.)

4. If they don’t give their name, take the initiative to ask them. (If they still seem aloof or disinterested, excuse yourself and go to the next person.)

5. Repeat the same steps, and then show interest in them by complimenting something that stood out for you about them (their clothes, accessories,etc.).

6. Wait for them to respond (show that you care, by being a good listener).

7. Then ask a few more personal questions (maintain eye contact), and this time they will open up more to you.

8. Spend 5 minutes with them, and then excuse yourself and move on to the next person. (Since you’re meeting for the first time, it is best not to overwhelm him/her, and also, it is best to leave the person wanting to talk to more).

9. As for him/her liking you, it starts and ends with how you make them feel. By talking, listening, inquiring, understanding, and conveying your interest through your actions!

If you like to add more steps feel free to comment them below. I’d love to hear from you.

This post was first published at Linkedin

Know What To Say & How To Say It, and be there for the people who believe in you! Email me at [email protected]and tell me what’s bothering you! If you find this article to be of value, then share it with your friends and family.

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  • Renoy George

    The People Consultant - Know What To Say & How To Say It

    Renoys Advice

    You don’t want to get hurt, you don’t like to feel embarrassed, so you do and say things that protect you, before communicating what you really want, leaving room for misunderstandings!

    Know What To Say & How To Say It, and be there for the people who believe in you!

    I am 'The People Consultant' operating under the brand 'Renoys Advice'. I help people understand and communicate, using verbal and non-verbal forms of communication, to create an impression of reliability, confidence, and leadership, thereby allowing them to reach their full potential while giving them the confidence to do anything and everything that they ever wished or dreamed to, but always hesitated! My writings are real-life experiences shared from the perspectives of his clients, as well as his own, aimed to inspire, teach, and encourage more positive interactions as well as relationships.

    My career as a marketing and a sales professional has allowed me to meet several interesting people, handle so many strange yet challenging situations and of course, be part of many adventures. And through my experiences and understanding of people, I identify my self as The People Consultant. Experience is my teacher and I hope to share that with you and learn something from you, as well