When it seems as if there’s just no light to be seen at the end of the tunnel, it’s easy to want to give up and give in. Why me, why this, why now, and other disempowering questions make it even harder to pull ourselves up and find the motivation to continue moving towards something better we have yet to see. So what can we do?

Here are things you can do instead of giving up:

1. Take a break. Sometimes the best thing to do when things don’t seem to be going your way is to take a break. A break might mean taking an hour, a day, or a week away from your goals to catch your breath and regain a more effective perspective.

2. Get advice. When something isn’t working, the advice of an expert can be extremely helpful. It’s possible that your approach just requires a little tweaking. Or it might be that your approach is missing a major step that a keen eye can see clearly Advice from the right person can make a big difference.

3. Learn. If nothing is working, it might be time to sit down and learn more about what you’re trying to accomplish. A little more knowledge might be the cure for your current struggles. Enhance your expertise and then apply what you learn.

4. Develop a new plan. Perhaps it’s time for a new approach. When one plan isn’t working, another plan might be the solution. It’s important not to give up too soon on your current methods, but it doesn’t help you at all if you try to stick it out for too long once it becomes obvious that it isn’t working. It’s that old story about climbing a ladder…that’s leaning on the wrong wall.

5. Are you busy or productive? Are you spending your efforts on why something isn’t working or spending time on finding what will work? While you may be putting the time in, time in the right place with a whatever it takes perspective can make all the difference.

6. Rekindle your motivation. Are you simply losing your motivation? There are ways around that.

  • Create a vision board.
  • Visualize yourself achieving your goal.
  • Make a list of all the benefits you’ll receive when you reach your goal.
  • Speak with someone and ask for motivation, inspiration and/or support.
  • Listen to music, watch a movie or read something that inspires you.

7. Determine why you want to give up. Are you tired? Are you short of a particular resource such  as time, money, or another set of hands? Is it taking too long? Are you confused?

  • Determine the cause of why you want to give up and look for a solution that resolves the issue.

8. Get support.It might be time to call your friends, family or those who are traveling the path you’ve just found yourself on for a little emotional support. So often we struggle and suffer in silence while loved ones would gladly help if they knew we needed support.

9. Set a new target.
 There are times that a goal needs a new target or timeline. In those cases, set a new target that’s appealing and motivating, giving yourself time to achieve it.

No one said it would be easy as you strive to be, do and become stronger, wiser and better. If easy was the criteria, who would have a great body, career or relationship? Who would pave a new path for others, make a vision a reality or inspire others towards action? While you may be undertaking something more challenging than you ever have before, it’s also creating a version of you you’ve never seen before. That version of you is healed, whole, confident, strong and worth the effort to get to know.

“The thorny path to greatness is better than the rosy path to mediocrity.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

Dr. Debi
Founder and  CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute


  • Dr. Debi Silber

    Dr. Debi Silber CEO and Founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

    The PBT Institute is the only full service community to help people heal (physicall, mentally and emotionally) from the betrayal of a family member, partner, coworker, friend, self, etc.

    Dr. Debi Silber, President/CEO of The PBT Institute (Post Betrayal Transformation Institute) ThePBTInstitute.com is a Transformational Psychologist, an award winning speaker, a recognized health, mindset and personal development expert. She's the author of the Amazon #1 Bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, and Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness. In addition to being a highly credentialed and awarded health expert, Debi has contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, TEDx (twice), The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, Woman's World and Glamour to name a few. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal, made three groundbreaking discoveries on how long and what we need to do in order to heal...once and for all.