When I started studying neurolingvistic methodologies, one of them just struck me: it simply said how to approach those feelings and emotions that take us in an uncomfortable state, 1) we must recognize them, 2) we must admit them and 3) we must work with them. So many times I hear people saying: “ I fight with myself”, “I fight with my anxiety”, “I fight with my fears”. Why do we have to fight? This simple thought puts you immediately in a state of alert anxiety as fight will supposedly bring you a winner but there’s also a high possibility you lose! I have given a lot of thought to how I myself can embrace my feelings as they are, accept them and understand what is the message behind them so we (me and my emotions) can come to a break – even point. My takeaway was good. Fear protects you. Anxiety tells you you are somewhere you are not comfortable with. Sadness gives you time to think deeply about the event and understand what happened, what the issues were and what’s the learned lesson. Frustration tells you you have strong principles and values and you may have ended up in a point when someone else’s are dominant, maybe because of formal power, visibility etc. Pain. Pain is the strongest of all. It can show in so many different shapes. It’s not only the physical pain that can be overwhelming but even refrained emotions and long suffering can change you chemical rhythm in a way that the body will respond in pain. Pain tells us so many things. An unbalanced body, mind, soul interconnection is announced by long term pain. As we see, most of what we call “negative” feelings, emotions, states are simple ways in which our own person as a whole draws our attention about certain events, people, environments we tend to become comfortable in but which in fact can damage our life. I tend to do a daily exercise and ask myself what makes me anxious. Uncertainty about the future. It’s something I inherited and I also nurtured unconsciously. And that is ok. It is very well that I worry about the future. This means I should take action that addresses this fear. I chose to study and improve my skills. This is a valuable top up on my experience. Additionally, I do what makes me more accomplished. I took more responsibility on my mother role and am more present with my child to improve the quality of time. I cook more often and understand this is as basic and important for my son. I also chose to study those areas that can help me organize better my message to improve the dialog I aim by writing. I hope that my message will be, for at least one person in this world, the first drop of sand of his own desert of healing.
So let us welcome our negative feelings, invite them over a coffee and get there ready to listen, understand and trust. Then take the action to befriend and meet every now and then, lighter, shinier and happier.