Are you waking up from the food coma that was 2020 and have no idea what you want for breakfast, let alone what you want to set as a 2021 resolution? Does it seem overwhelming? Daunting? Exhausting? Futile?
I get it!
I’m not a fan of resolutions – they usually are highly ambitious and abandoned in a few weeks, often resulting in self shaming. Plus, we’re really in no mental shape to be setting resolutions. We’ve just come off of preparing for Thanksgiving, having Thanksgiving, preparing for holidays, having holidays, dealing with work, kids school, family guilt, the pandemic, and NOW we’re expected to have the clarity and resolve to create these life altering plans. It’s exhausting!
But, if you’re looking to make a serious CHANGE that you want to stick with, here’s a different approach you may find helpful to identify what you want and take action.
Usually my mantra is “think of what you want, not what you don’t want,” but when you have no idea what you want, turning the other way can be your answer.
What DON’T you want?
What don’t you want for yourself?
What are you TIRED of?
For example… I am tired of being a slave to my phone – wasting time, going down too many rabbit holes. I’ve been feeling this way for a while, justifying that “I have things to do on my phone!” Then last night I watched “The Social Dilemma.” Have you seen it? If not, it’s a must see on Netflix – check out how algorithms are manipulating us based on our user habits.
Based on what I don’t want,
I know that what I do want is
less phone time, and more life time.
How am I going to do this? I put downtime and social media limits on my phone before I went to bed last night. I have to admit, when I woke up this morning I thought of going on my phone “just for a sec” …MANY times. I’m proud to say, instead of being on my phone, I played chess with my son. I’m not so proud to say, he beat me.
What Don’t YOU want?
Are you tired of constantly worrying about your family, job, business?
Perhaps NOT worrying is just what you need. What would it look like if you weren’t worried? What would you do when you’re not worried? How would you approach work? Your family? Your life?
How about your relationships? Are you tired of not having date night or quality time together? What you DO want is quality time. What do you want to do for the quality time?
Do you want your kids to stop leaving a mess? What you want, could be to put in place rules for everyone to pitch in.
Once you know what you do want, think of one small step you can take today.
Perhaps it’s having a conversation with your family, engaging a friend or coach to support you, googling how to set up social media limits, or even just admitting to yourself that you want to make a change is a HUGE step.
One small step each day will be more productive than pressuring yourself. No one wants to live with a bully.