We don’t actually get taught relationship fundamentals. Outside of learning to share in pre-school years and the etiquette of saying “thank you” when given something, we mostly learn from what we see modeled, as we grow up.
Outside of basic commonalities, we are each distinct individuals that come with our own strengths and idiosyncrasies. Some things create irritations and others, smiles. Some things about each of us are stellar and some attributes, not so much.
The better that we understand ourselves, the more we understand others – and vice versa.
I like to help people grow a relationship toolbox. This toolbox is a compilation and collection of information, concepts and skills that make the navigation of relationships easier and more enjoyable.
Here are some suggestions for your toolbox:
** A well-defined VISION for the relationship
** The Five Love Languages (Dr. Gary Chapman)
** Personality Plus (Florence Littauer talks temperaments)
** The “3 As” (Accept, Approve, Appreciate)
** Forgiveness practices
** Communication skills (listening and conveying)
** Intentional happy-memory-making
There are a few more things that could be included, but that is a great start. The biggest ingredient is being INTENTIONAL, as that is the “secret sauce” that keeps us operating in the “now” of our relationships.
When relationships feel like creations, now you’re on to something good!