Show guilt and exasperation

Does he have his computer? Gees, no I forgot to bring it. I thought there you go again. I was rushing and was already late dropping my son off to a program, Gavel Club for my Jack and Jill of America Inc. chapter. The long detailed email told me exactly what he needed for the boot camp, but I forgot. The usual self-bashing was about to start until I heard the pardon “No Mom Guilt” from my friend and the program coordinator.

As Mothers, whether working outside or within the home, we beat ourselves up for the most minuscule missteps. This keeps us in bondage to perfection. But, where does this expectation to be flawless come from? Well, for the most part, it’s self-imposed. As a mom in a  high pressured executive job, I attributed my missteps as proof that I could not focus on my family and a demanding career. A few years back, I remember dropping my son to school forgetting it was pajama day. I didn’t have time to go back home to fix this big mistake. I was crying while driving with an exaggerated belief I irreparably damaged my child for life.  I rushed home that evening ready to do whatever necessary to make it up, but the day passed along with the made-up trauma. Don’t judge, many of you have far worse stories, so do I. In reality, we need to give ourselves a break-No Mom Guilt! But me just saying it is not enough. So, I have a revolutionary idea, do it for the children that we so desperately want to have a perfect childhood. 

When we ditch mom guilt we teach our children:

  1. How to apologize
  2. How to manage disappointment
  3. Even Mommy makes mistakes and she’s still cool 
  4. Worry less
  5. Not to live in regret
  6. Unconditional love
  7. Solve problems  
  8. Be more independent
  9. Live in the present
  10. Be content

So next time look at your child in the eye, say an earnest apology for the mishap, explain any circumstances if you needed and then move on. If it doesn’t work, don’t worry there will be another opportunity to practice until you get it right.