I decided a rather long time ago that my life would look very different from those around me. I chose a road less traveled, one that’s definitely not paved, which seems to throw a wrench in even the best of intentions, just to keep things spicy I guess. It wasn’t an easy choice, it has since become the only choice in my mind, the only life I’d ever want to be a part of, where let’s admit it, I don’t fit into any sort of title or regulation, let alone box or mold. Sure to some that seems attractive, or to others, insane. Either side of the coin will show that it is nowhere near easy. I hit challenge after challenge, as most of us do in life. The last few years being no exception.
I do find comfort now in the unknown, in endless possibility, in change. Change being the only constant among this rollercoaster of a life. I fight tooth and nail for what I believe in, I work hard everyday sometimes just to get out of bed, my health both mentally and physically always seeming to deteriorate in one way or another. But among all that chaos is a form of acceptance, calmness, even peace. A refusal to break my own set morals or to conform to any other way of life. A dream to one day pave my own road, dig my own trenches and climb even the highest of mountain tops.
From the outside things always look different, we see things and people how we want to see them. We believe the grass to always be greener in another’s yard. We romanticize aspects of others lives we maybe don’t even understand. We limit our own growth or potential by trying to make it in a broken world. Instead of being true to the voice deep with in us, we look outward for the answers we already house.
I share this today because life for me has always been a struggle, I find myself often, especially lately in bed recuperating from pain that now seems to last all month instead of a few days here and there. A darkness lurks, anxiety stirs…But in that struggle I have found the love of many who help me fight the fight I so desperately need to fight. Without you all I wouldn’t be where I am. I know I’ve said this before plenty of times, but I want to say it again. Because there’s a sadness amongst most of us right now, a plague on humanity. One we so desperately need to end. And the only way that ends is in sharing, communicating and loving one another, and most importantly ourselves. Scars and all. It ends by only accepting the positives, denying the negatives and in looking past the trauma and the heartache, pushing yourself further and longer, to a higher vibration. Standing up against the masses that want to take your belief away and saying the cycle ends here.
Sure, there are days I feel as if I could give up, days that break my soul, and I think how much more can I possibly endure?? But when we give into those spaces we create a hole deep within us that festers and grows. Refusal of such brings a light even darkness can’t fade. A light that expands and encompasses us all.
Look for this light in you today. Look for it everyday and share that light even on your darkest of days. Soon that light will be the light that takes over the world.