“Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.” ― Joseph Conrad, Chance

Being a woman has never been an easy deal, at the opposite women around the world have always been devalued which is quiet irritating and of course not fair.

I am a woman and I couldn’t be prouder of so being, but things are always hard when it’s about a woman, a girl, a mother…

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” ― Anaïs Nin

It is frustrating, like really, how life choose to not give us what we want, especially as women of tomorrow, wives to be, mothers to be, since day one I have always wanted to be an independent strong beautiful and powerful woman I wanted to be valued of the person I am.

I have never doubted myself not even for once but somehow now I do, I just cannot understand how a gifted person cannot be what she wants to be, so many inconveniences on my way, so many responsibilities, that now I am lost in my messy thoughts not knowing or even understanding how such a gorgeous mind cannot be freed from all the boundaries that life decides from I have no idea what reason put in my way towards great achievements.

She believed she could so she did”.

I need to believe in a better tomorrow, because it is the only thing that keeps me going, that I need to thrive and be the woman the young girl inside me dreamed to be someday, and I don’t want that someday to be far away, I want it now so should I just go and get it? I want to but, each time I try to grab my luck it runs, the potential so wanted over the years is here now but the lack of luck is what kills me.

Does it really exist I mean the luck? or is it just something people invented to recomfort their conscience each time they failed at something or each time failures kept happening, so what? Is it about luck, or maybe potential, what if it is just not enough and it is meant to be this way?

I am sorry but I refuse to believe so, I know what I am and I know it has never been about the potential but mostly about that damn perfect timing that doesn’t want to happen.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

So, what is it about? I don’t really know, I am beyond furious, women are sacred creatures and I am truly honored to be one of them, and I have every right to get my happy ending, not only ending but a happy life, I have had my share of pain and sadness, time for good things to happen to me, to thrive to be successful, to break the rules of being beautiful, only because I know I am worth fighting for, worth getting what I want, and I will make that waited someday TODAY, I definitely will.

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else”. Fred Rogers

Originally published at medium.com