Like a lot of people Robert was burnt out when he came to see me. Professionally he was at the top of his game, managing his new team and up-managing overwhelmed leaders. At home things were different, his relationship with his wife at breaking point. His relationship with himself non-existent and his mind was rest-less. He was flat, uninspired, depressed, frustrated and needing something but not knowing what. For sure something was missing!

From a Chinese medical perspective it was clear Robert’s Heart and mind were disconnected. When the Heart is off-key we tend to feel unhappy, sad and disconnected. His thinking management mind, so accomplished at goal setting and problem solving couldn’t work this one out. He was looking for the executive summary which was nowhere in sight. Here is his story highlighting 5 steps to restoring balance.

Step One – Know your Heart

Our work together began with an introduction to the Heart as overall ruler of awareness. I explained how the Heart, like the sun in the sky, empowers us with a bigger view of life. We discussed the science of the heart and how our Heart-brain connections affect our perceptions of life. Science evidences what the mystics know, Heart health shows as feelings of happiness, clear thinking and amplifies a sense of belonging and connection. 

Step Two – Roles and Boundaries

As Robert started to look through the big picture lens on his problems, rather than ‘zoom in’, he was quickly able to switch perspectives. He realised how bringing his management thinking mind home to family life was no fun for anyone! He needed to switch off being manager and become more aware of what he fed into the environment. His work life was polluting the family atmosphere. Because he had lost his sense of himself, he was always pushing on boundaries, and upsetting his relationships.

Step Three – Steer your Mind, Visualise

After doing simple mindfulness and visualisation practices he felt noticeably lighter, clearer, more awake and aware. He was inspired to recognise how his own Heart could help him connect to higher perspectives and identify what’s truly important.

Step Four – Get a grip on your mind

As a manager getting on a grip on his mind and joining the dots was critical. He was at a turning point, seeking and reedy for change. NOTE: If you can’t get a grip on your mind, it’s time to get help from a coach or clinician.

Step Five – Practice gratitude and appreciation

Once he realised appreciation was key to opening his Heart, he started to pay more attention to nature and looking for beauty. He brought some inspiring art, read some uplifting books which all helped expand this new more open mind-set. As he let go of his limited sense of small self, something greater started to open in him. Robert was becoming more Heart engaged and as a response his over-thinking mind was settling down and his relationships were opening up.

Executive Summary

  1. Heart based awareness enables access to our own ‘knowing’ also called intuition. 2. It gives us access to wisdom and expanded big picture seeing. 3. By contrast, a focussed thinking mind is directed like a spotlight, zooming in on details. 4. Aligning these super powers is about training the mind to serve the Heart. 5. When we honour our deeper knowing about things that are important we feel lighter, happier and freer. 6. When the meaningful things in life are well cared for, the clear thinking mind can make good decisions, and rest when it’s not required.


  • Cameron Tukapua

    Chinese Medicine Practitioner I Strong Hearted Leadership Coach

    You Being You

    Cameron Tukapua synthesises her lifetime study of clinical acupuncture and professional development training into wellbeing and spiritual self-identity courses through You Being You. "As a sensitive high energy person it was massive relief to discover and start studying Chinese Medicine at age 21. It literally saved my life! Immediately I could see where I belonged in the world and how to strengthen my mind-body balance. This time tested medical tradition shows us how we connect to the world around us, and how the body-mind is one system . Teaching and learning has been a lifelong passion. For nearly a decade I owned and directed the "Christchurch College of Holistic Healing" offering full time Acupuncture practitioner training. Since 1993 I have co-led Mind-body Wellbeing retreats in Hawaii, China, Bali and New Zealand. What I know is people transform when they learn how to be their own healers and teachers. What we really need to know is inside us all. Facilitating connection to ourselves, others and universal energies, is my contribution to the Wellbeing revolution. The YBY courses provide simple clear reference points on HOW to nurture lifelong wellbeing for the body mind. The focus is on connecting to our true Heart nature. The teachings are Uplifting, Heartfelt and Unifying."